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Your Husband May Struggle with the Ups and Downs of Your Marriage More Thank You Think!

I just read an interesting article about a recent study that concluded that young men are more vulnerable to the "ups and downs" of relationships than you might think. Though the study looked at 1000 unmarried, 18-23 year olds only, it got me thinking about the possible implications for men in general, whether married or not.

Men are conditioned to put on a brave face and not show their distress. The study indicated that these young men actually suffered more than they let on - but their suffering appeared differently than women. Because women tend to spread their emotional support out more between family and friends, the study suggested that perhaps it's for this reason that these men were more impacted by relationship woes; their source of primary intimate support.

I realize I can't draw a scientifically backed conclusion applying these findings to men in general but in my couple's therapy experience - and in my own life - this certainly resonates.

I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this matter. Based on what you've observed in your own marriage, is it possible that the stoic man you think you have, seemingly less impacted by marital distress than you, is actually more impacted than you realized?

You can read the above-mentioned article, Young Men are More Vulnerable to Relationship Ups and Downs than Women in


Lisa Brookes Kift is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Marin County, CA, writer and creator of The Toolbox at, with tools for marriage, relationship and emotional health.

See more marriage articles by Lisa.

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