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Why do you obsess over how the guy you've been dating for all of a month and a half feels about you? Why are you tormenting yourself already with “Where is this relationship going?”

I'm on my way to a conference in a very full plane, and two women are talking in the row in front of me. The one is saying “We've been seeing each other for over a month but I have no idea where this is going." "Well, obviously he likes you," the other says. "I know he likes me," the woman says, “but where is this going?" "Who cares?" her friend replies, “You're having a good time. "Sure," the woman says, "But I don't want to be wasting my time."

And there's the dilemma. You're afraid of wasting your time on a relationship that'll go nowhere, yet a relationship can't happen if you don't spend time developing it. So what do you do?

Choose wisely. Use those first two or three dates to really explore who the guy is, both by listening carefully to what he tells you and by observing his behavior. People will usually tell you – and show you - the truth about themselves the first couple of times you meet them.

If what you discover fits with your needs and values, there are good chances the relationship will develop nicely, so relax and enjoy it. If what you discover doesn't, this isn't the guy for you and then it would be a waste of time. Now you know - move on.

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