How to Talk to Your Partner About a Sexual Dysfuction
What are some practical ways couples can deal with their struggles in the bedroom?
It’s tremendously difficult for the average couple to talk about a sexual dysfunction—whether it is an erectile problem or an inability to orgasm. Your best first step is to educate yourself on what is going on with your body; then educate your partner and together have a conversation about what you can do about your situation.
There are plenty of books or go on the internet (but please be careful on the internet as there is a lot of dubious misinformation). Research and bookmark what is happening to you.
Give your partner the information and ask them to read. Afterwards have a conversation about the diagnosis—keeping your conversation to the scientific and factual makes it much easier to discuss.
Very important: focus and talk about what you can do as couple instead of what you cannot do. If intercourse is no longer possible, it’s no use to focus on that. Instead focus on the sensual, erotic side of sex—which is the best part of sex.
It’s tremendously difficult for the average couple to talk about a sexual dysfunction—whether it is an erectile problem or an inability to orgasm. Your best first step is to educate yourself on what is going on with your body; then educate your partner and together have a conversation about what you can do about your situation.
There are plenty of books or go on the internet (but please be careful on the internet as there is a lot of dubious misinformation). Research and bookmark what is happening to you.
Give your partner the information and ask them to read. Afterwards have a conversation about the diagnosis—keeping your conversation to the scientific and factual makes it much easier to discuss.
Very important: focus and talk about what you can do as couple instead of what you cannot do. If intercourse is no longer possible, it’s no use to focus on that. Instead focus on the sensual, erotic side of sex—which is the best part of sex.
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Comment by hitched on November 25, 2008 at 12:22pm
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Obviously, outside of checking out your column here Trina, if you were to research something online to educate yourself about sex, where would you go? Do you have a go to source?
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Comment by Trina Read on November 25, 2008 at 3:07pm
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The list of sexual dysfunctions is too extensive for me to recommend one book or one website.
However, Cory Silverberg writes a weekly column on a variety of sexual issues on sexuality.about.com. I LOVE and respect what Cory has to say on any topic.
Otherwise, make sure whatever you are reading is backed up by scientific evidence. For example, there are A LOT of cremes, pills and snake oil poitions that will "cure" erectile problems, or orgasm difficulties, or increase sex drive. If they've not been FDA approved, it's a scam and you will have wasted your time, energy and money chasing after rainbows.
If people have a specific problem, I might be able to give a specific reference.
Dr. Trina E. Read
Sexologist
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