Married Life from Hitched - Social network for married couples

Why is it you always seem to want what you can’t have? Why do you try to come between your lover and his work when you know you can't win?

I'm out walking my dog. He’s doing his sniffing thing, which seems much more important to him than the peeing thing – and there’s a couple arguing.

The guy is trying to get into his car. He’s telling the woman he has to go, he has an appointment, and she’s frustrated. She's saying "You always have an appointment," and he’s saying “Look I can’t run a business and hold your hand at the same time.” She retorts with: “You never have time for me, you’re always working.” He’s trying to make nice with her, saying “We’ll take a vacation when I close this deal” and you know that's never gonna happen.

When someone is passionate about what they do, it's part of who they are, and I don’t care how hard you pull on him – work is going to win.

So what do you do?

Drop the tug of war – entirely.

Instead of yanking at him, share your lover's enthusiasm, his passion. Learn about his work, talk about it with him, keep up with what's going on in his field, stay current on his projects. Appreciate his efforts, his contribution, his talents. Expect delays, interruptions, last minute changes. Don't pout. Plan for them.

In other words, don’t resent your partner’s work. Appreciate his passion, share it with him. Then you’ll be the one he turns to whenever there is a free moment, because you're the one who understands – his passion.

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