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Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT's Blog (246)

Create safety, security and trust in your relationship

A lot of people have difficulties having trust in their relationship, and in general… Mistrust in our relationship is not just about wondering, or obsessing about, if our partner is cheating. But not trusting our partner usually has the flavor of not trusting we can count on them. That they have our back. That they’ll pick up where we leave off. Whether or not they’ll follow through on what they say. If they’ll use their best judgement. And so on. It is imperative that we create safety,…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on May 13, 2021 at 2:14pm — No Comments

Mothering Vs Fathering

Mothering Vs Fathering… This is not a competition! First off, wishing all the Moms a very Happy Mother’s Day. And here is an invitation for all of us to embrace more Mothering in our own lives, of ourselves and our loved us. We can all stand to be more compassionate, nurturing and loving… Second, the key is finding a balance for these two characteristics within ourselves for a more integrated Human…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on May 7, 2021 at 9:37am — No Comments

Prevent drama with self-regulation and co-regulation

You know when you don’t feel so hot physically or emotionally, how you are more sensitive to most things? And, even more so with your partner and how they are being? The things that you would normally let go or that wouldn’t necessarily bother you, in this state they are actually experienced as micro aggressions. And, when this happens you are both thrown for a loop... You can prevent pain and drama with self-regulation and co-regulation.

What does that mean? Self-regulation…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2021 at 6:39am — No Comments

The key is embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle… (Video)

Do you feel like you are spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast in your life? Do you feel like your world got turned upside down and you don’t know what’s up or down? Do you feel exhausted and completely unmotivated? Do you feel like are banging around without purpose and alone? Do you feel disconnected from your partner and like you are both just floating around?

You are not alone. Imagine a gigantic hand grabbed the world this past year and shook it and shook it.…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 25, 2021 at 5:02am — No Comments

When you keep having the same fight…

Sometimes things don’t seem to be working out the way we’d prefer in our life and our relationship. We don’t lose the weight. We don’t get the promotion or hit our sales target. We haven’t gotten engaged yet. We keep having the same fight. There is a reason for this. The reason is that we are getting in our own way…

Now, I say with lots of love and compassion, for who wants to hear it’s their fault they are having a hard time. Right?

But the reality is that we…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2021 at 3:41am — No Comments

Implement pleasure and delight habits… (Video)

It is not uncommon for us to become so tunnel vision in our experience that we miss the forest for the tree. We focus on what’s not working, how we’ve been wronged, what we don’t like, how much we have to do, and all the miseries of life. We tend to overwork, neglect ourselves and our loved ones. We are far from living our Best Life and creating our Best Relationship… We can focus and work differently instead… And, we can implement pleasure and delight habits…

Why pleasure…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 11, 2021 at 3:31am — No Comments

our new beginning needs a communication cleanse

The conversation continues on having a refresh and reset, a renewal, on creating a new beginning, and on getting traction on our relationship and life transformation… Are you ready for newness? Let’s do it! To get traction with the new, we have to get rid of the old… Your new beginning needs a communication cleanse to set the right tone for the awesomeness that’s to come.

Today we’ll focus on how to clean up how you communicate in your relationship. I recently wrote…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 3, 2021 at 3:31am — No Comments

Relationship refresh and reset

New beginnings are super exciting, and this new season promises nothing less. Not only is it a new season, but it is also Springtime when things come alive. And, this Spring is meaningful as it marks a one-year anniversary of the still ongoing global pandemic but with it hope as the vaccine is being distributed. Newness is in the air. This is the perfect time for a relationship refresh and reset.

What is a relationship refresh and reset? A relationship refresh and reset is a…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on March 28, 2021 at 4:01am — No Comments

Spring into a new level in your relationship and life

Springtime is a time for renewal and New Beginnings… It is an opportunity to start fresh again. It is a time to refresh, course correct and reset. All changes in season and any new start, provide the opportunity for New Beginnings… Spring is special in this endeavor as the newness is so obvious with nature springing back to life… There is momentum in this… This is your chance to spring into a new level in your relationship and life…

Does that sound scary, or empowering and…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on March 20, 2021 at 4:01am — No Comments

Start anew with a good detox and spring clean!

Spring is almost here. Yay! Do you know what that means? It means it’s time to get ready for New Beginnings… As everything in nature will slowly be coming back to life and starting anew, so can we. We can take this opportunity to come Alive, to engage more with our life, to create new beginnings, to reset, to recharge… We can start anew in any area of our life we choose. The best way to start anew is with a good detox and spring clean!

We can’t build on rubble. We have to…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on March 13, 2021 at 3:29am — No Comments

Remove roadblocks to great communication

Great communication has to do with smoothing things out and feeling Aligned. It has to do with getting on the same page, feeling understood and accepted, and getting traction towards a vision in common. Unfortunately, partners get in their own way when interacting with each other which prevents the flow of joy, harmony and love that is possible when doing this well. Let’s remove the roadblocks to great communication. Shall we?

First off, be extremely careful not to…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on March 7, 2021 at 3:07am — No Comments

Great communication skills and tools are a must

One of the main roadblocks to creating a radiant and successful relationship is having poor communication skills and tools. Even if you believe you are a great communicator, you might not necessarily have the skills and tools needed to get on the same page with your partner… Great communication skills and tools are a must for succeeding at your relationship.

When I hear people say they are great communicators, a session from a long time ago come to mind. The…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on March 1, 2021 at 3:13am — No Comments

Post Valentine’s Day Blues are real…

Post Valentine’s Day Blues are real… There is even a thing as “Anti Valentine’s Day Week”… This week is not just for those that don’t believe on the mushy holiday, but also for those who are disappointed by it. Regardless of what camp you are in on the holiday and your Valentine’s Day experience, you can use this week to enrich your relationship. I say you - do it again, do it over, or do it after all…

 

This idea has to do with not…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on February 20, 2021 at 3:26am — No Comments

What to do with Valentine’s Day…

Do you love Valentine’s Day? Some obviously don’t. And, some would totally love to love it but because of their circumstances it is just a painful holiday for them. Which one are you? If you fall in the don’t love it (actually hate it) or in the painful category, I hope you can still find nuggets in here to apply to your life and relationship/s outside of Valentine’s Day… So, here is what to do with Valentine’s Day…

 

Yes, it has been a very…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on February 14, 2021 at 5:24am — No Comments

Does your Couple Brand™ need upgrading?

Have you ever noticed that there are certain couples in your life that you love being around, and others that you dread or avoid? How do you think others experience your relationship? Do they want to be around you and your partner? Or, do you find that you each get invites to go solo? Is your Couple Brand™ what you want it to be? Does your Couple Brand™ need upgrading?

 

Your couple brand is the flavor of your relationship. It’s also how your…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on February 6, 2021 at 3:09am — No Comments

Do you know how to have fun together?

Couples usually have a challenging time coming up with fun things to do as a couple. They have difficulties having fun in their relationship. And, they might struggle having fun with each other. Do you know how to have fun together? 

This is not unusual as partners have a tendency to focus on what they don’t like, an unfortunate product of our brain’s built-in negativity bias. They worry about…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on January 31, 2021 at 9:21am — No Comments

Low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic

This time of year, and specially with everything that’s going on, we might be feeling raw, sensitive, antsy, edgy, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, unmotivated, lethargic, detached numb, and such. These feelings are more compounded when we are feeling disconnected, might be experiencing a bout of low intimacy, and have fewer opportunities for fun. This doesn’t help the low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic of the modern-day couple… 

A challenging trifecta:…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on January 22, 2021 at 7:20am — No Comments

Low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic

This time of year, and specially with everything that’s going on, we might be feeling raw, sensitive, antsy, edgy, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, unmotivated, lethargic, detached numb, and such. These feelings are more compounded when we are feeling disconnected, might be experiencing a bout of low intimacy, and have fewer opportunities for fun. This doesn’t help the low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic of the modern-day couple… 

A challenging trifecta:…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on January 22, 2021 at 7:20am — No Comments

3 Tactics to increase connection in your relationship

I love new beginnings whether it’s a new year, a new season, a new chapter, or just a nice and simple refresh and reset… I believe these are amazing opportunities to take stock and plan anew to keep evolving and expanding ourselves and upleveling our life. This applies to all areas of our life, from personal to relationship to professional/business. A refresh and reset are great when feeling off and looking to increase connection in your relationship.

I usually like to…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on January 18, 2021 at 1:59am — No Comments

Intentional habits to glide into the New Year with ease

Happy New Year! The promise of new beginnings is just beyond alluring, is it not? Whether you are rocking it or are struggling, a new ride is just fun! We’ve had a heck of a 2020, and though there is light at the end of the tunnel 2021 is off to a slow start. I say we go with the flow, with tenderness and compassion. I say we glide into the new year with ease. 

Tenderness, compassion and ease does not mean taking it easy, being lazy or dragging butt! It just means…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on January 6, 2021 at 8:26am — No Comments

Hitched Podcast

Episode 601: How Marriage Might Change Post-Pandemic

12 Scientists and authors looked at 90 research studies and then prognosticated what marriage would look like in the future. Dr. Karen Sherman is on to discuss their predictions.





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