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Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT's Blog – April 2010 Archive (5)

Want a Lasting Marriage? Get Back to the Basics - part 2

We're talking about how to "get back to the basics" around creating a lasting, solid relationship over time. This is the second post in my Hitched series on premarital tips for married couples who either never learned - or have forgotten how to keep the foundation under their "marriage house" as strong as possible. They are the guide posts I describe in…

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Added by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 26, 2010 at 2:36pm — No Comments

Want a Lasting Marriage? Get Back to the Basics

If you're married and didn't get any kind of premarital education - you're not alone. Though many know of the benefits, when you're in the honymoon phase of your relationship it's pretty easy to think you won't be one of the statistics. If you're married, you likely have some idea that married life isn't necessarily as easy as you might have thought it would be. Though incredibly rewarding much of the time, the reality is there are ups and downs as you navigate through life together with…

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Added by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 22, 2010 at 3:44pm — No Comments

Communication Challenge: How Well do You and Your Spouse Listen to Each Other?

How well do you listen to your spouse? How well does he/she listen to you?

When working with couples on communication, one thing that comes up a lot is frustration around not feeling heard. I'm not only referring to not listening to each other - but also not hearing each other. People can think they've heard each other but a simple misunderstanding or incorrect assumption can totally derail the communication process.

One way to be sure you and your…

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Added by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 14, 2010 at 3:31pm — No Comments

Affair Recovery Tip: Allow for Tranparency

Infidelity can one of the most challenging and painful things a marriage can go through. Thankfully, there are effective ways to work through it, especially if both are open to it. Working with couples on the road to affair recovery, I encourage a number of basic rules for the work to be as effective and successful as possible. Here is one:

Allow for Transparency

With the rebuilding of trust being one of the most important elements of healing…

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Added by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 1, 2010 at 11:52am — No Comments

Hug your partner. Increase oxytocin. Feel loved.

Did you know that if you give your partner a full contact body hug for at least 20 seconds at a time you both have the potential to release oxytocin, the "love" hormone? For couples in distress, both people are likely releasing damaging cortisol (the stress hormone). Because a sense of safety can release oxytocin, this makes the 20 second body hug a wonderful (and fun) antidote for the other. The more times a day you can do this with your partner the better but great times are in…

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Added by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 1, 2010 at 11:51am — No Comments

Hitched Podcast

Episode 613: The Power of Words

We know there are certain words we shouldn't use when talking to or about our spouse, but there are other words we don't think about, that seem benign which can be extremely damaging. Dr. Noelle Nelson shares some of them.





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