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What if one of you wants a child and the other doesn't?

After seven years together, two of them married, my husband recently admitted (while drunk) that he wants to have a child together.

I, on the other hand, have never really wanted children. It's a long story, but let's just say that I know how much work and sacrifice and expense that it takes to raise a child well, and not only am I not really interested, but I'm not sure I'm up to it.

We discussed this before we got married, and I have always make it perfectly clear that motherhood did not interest me. We made life and educational choices and plans based on that fact. I feel betrayed, in a sense - while I know he means it as a compliment, I feel like the very foundation on which we related and got married just shifted. What now?

Anybody else been through this?

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I think he's been fudging about wanting them for a while. I think it has come to a head because his brother and several of his friends are either expecting or just had new ones, and all our friends have them. I think he's just been fudging it because he knew I wasn't really interested in the idea. It's a little like he feels we are successful at being married - so we should also be successful at being parents too. He doesn't have enough experience with little ones to know how much work it is and thus how much strain it can put on the parents. I understand the idea of wanting to leave a legacy behind, and be able to pass on what we've done well, etc. There are aspects like that of having children that have appeal. I just know the sacrifice and commitment and hard work and expense they are - and I don't know that I'm up to it. Obviously he thinks I am. I'm not so sure - and really not so sure I am sure enough to try, if that makes sense!


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