Week #7—Six Month Sex Challenge:
Pink vs. Pink Water Lubricant. I need to use a silicone based lubricant, and lots of it, while I’m breast feeding.
Lesson I learned from last week:
Trying to get sex back on track only highlights what wasn’t dealt with before the baby was born.
Breastfeeding Making Intercourse Uncomfortable
After my last blog post about not knowing whether to carry on with this challenge, I had to sit down and do a lot of hard thinking. Actually, it was three days of bouncing between bouts of crying and angrily asking myself, “Why does this have to be so difficult? I just want to have sex.”
Had some heart-to-heart chats with my husband. Cleared the air and decided together how we wanted to go forward. But then later in the week it came time to initiate sex and I didn’t know if I was going to face rejection, unresolved couple issues or what. So, as per usual, I held off until the very last minute.
Advice from Sue Naylen-Sorrell
To help this challenge along, I asked will be asking other people in the sexuality field for their best advice for new moms. Sue Naylen-Sorrell owns my favorite Calgary based mom-friendly sex store, A Little More Interesting
gave her top three mommy sex products.
Here’s her list:
1) We-Vibe II
2) Jimmy Jane Massage Candles
3) Pink Water
(She also likes Tracy Cox’ Sex Decks
, and anything Lelo.)
As I’m breastfeeding fulltime, lubricant is an absolute essential as intercourse can be uncomfortable, I decided to go slow and try her recommended “Pink Water” lubricant.
A walk down memory lane
I’ll never forget my first son’s six week postpartum checkup. As my OBGYN inserted fingers lathered with KY jelly she
said, “The might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes women’s vaginas go into a menopausal-like state if they are breastfeeding fulltime. This may make intercourse uncomfortable.”
Before having my son, I dolled this information out to hundreds of new moms. You see estrogen which makes for a nice juicy vagina, is being suppressed by the hormones prolactin and oxytocin.
Ironically, I didn’t expect intercourse to be so darn uncomfortable. And for the first six months intercourse was, at times, unpleasant until I stopped breastfeeding fulltime. So as excited as I was to initiate intercourse this time around, I was just as anxious about if I would have to endure another six months of it being uncomfortable.
On to the main event
When the time came to get down to business, I had both bottles of Pink and Pink Water lubricant out. Both lubes are really lovely. I can see why Sue recommends them so highly. The lube is light, not sticky and feels similar to my own lubrication. So I went straight to Pink
which is a silicone based lube.
How was the intercourse?
Yes, this time around intercourse was uncomfortable. Sigh. Quite disappointed but I also appreciate that it will only be a few more months of fulltime breastfeeding. I used A LOT of Pink and it seemed to help. It just means we can’t have wild, hanging off the chandeliers intercourse (like that happens anyways) for a while.
Afterwards, as we laid in bed wrapped around each other—such a long time since we’ve done that. Had a feeling of complete peace. Really felt like all this icky couple crap we’re going through is going to work out. We are going to be okay; not perfect but perfectly okay. Best of all, we’re well on our way to getting our sex life back on track.
Husbands rating on Pink
He gives it an 8/10—high praise indeed coming from him. He really liked how the product worked but felt it wasn’t as slippery or lasted as long as other silicone lubricants we’ve tried. (I told him it was a trade off because this product doesn’t stain sheets like some silicone lubes do.)
to find out more about Pink and Pink Water and where you can buy it. Next week, it’s all about my husband so we’ll be trying the Sue recommended Jimmy Jane candle.