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Week #18: Six Month Sex Challenge—Being passive-aggressive feels good in the moment, but it only makes things more difficult in the long run.

Lesson I learned from last week: If you’re having a difficult time communicating, there are tools like A Private Affair game to help you start proactive communication.

This is a good news and bad news week

The good news…I’m into my skinny jeans (holy cow!)
I couldn’t believe it. Emboldened by seeing my clothes looser around my childbearing hips I thought, “Why don’t I see how far I can bring my skinny jeans up my thighs.” I pulled them up and did up the button—I can even breath and sit down. Genuinely astonished!

The bad news…I’m only human
My passive aggressive side came out this week.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been hearing soft murmurings from my husband, “Well, I only get sex once a week….” It then escalated to, “I only get sex once a week, and it’s always what you want to do.”

I did attempt to have the proactive and constructive conversations you’re suppose to have in these moments. They sort of worked, but he kept on complaining.

So I did what I usually do when I’m really mad: dig in my heels and become extremely stubborn. “If he wants to have sex,” I thought to myself—without consulting him of course, “he’ll have to make it work.”

Oh, did I mention that in the same breath where he’s complaining, he also casually reveals, “I’m playing hockey four times this week, three times at night and once during the kids weekend nap.”

Since I’ve started this sex quest, I’ve had a devil of a time trying to figure out times to have sex. Between two little kids, my husband playing hockey and my complete disinterest in waiting until after 9:30 p.m. to have sex, it’s been a real juggling act to figure out a good time.

Alas, passive-aggressive girl just sat back and said, “Okay hot-shot, you want sex more than once this week, go ahead. Make it happen.”

Well, it didn’t happen. Not even once.

Do I feel better having made my point? Not really. I find in these moments the lack-of-communicating-around-a-sensitive-issue mess I’ve made still has to be cleaned up the following week. When I go to clean it up, it’s an even bigger mess. Never worth it.

Now, I’ve got to try to have that conversation with my husband. Sucks to be me.

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Hitched Podcast

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A toddler, a job, a pandemic... who has time for sex? Dr. Karen Sherman offers advice for a listener who wants to get her sex life back on track with her husband.

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