Married Life from Hitched - Social network for married couples

The Art of Open Minded Sex in African Marriage and, Love intrigues .One Woman’s' dream another Man's Fantasy

George .A. Kahama.The Art of  Open Sex in African  Marriage  and, Love intrigues .One Woman’s' dream another Man's Fantasy

The Author and researcher extends ,apologies for the regressive, anti-feminist sound of the scenes and examples before anyone reads on. In the event one takes ofence please be warned that maybe real to me maybe a story in fiction to another .As in all art forms each individual  is unique and very different to another and hence their expediencies ultimately will just as unique .I realised this during my last college years whilst taking philosophy classes and came up with the notion that just as there are words, they are many meanings to a word as there are people, and this applies to sexual experiences as well. I can at best only try to shed some light in this area as mostly all experiences are somehow not de- similar and hence writing this brief guidance one may term it. By no means should this be taken as a absolute, but solely my own interpretations as gathered from the years of learning the art of love, sex and later on marriage .

I believe it would be unfair to take these experiences of mine to the grave whilst maybe someone a woman or a man could use the knowledge otherwise. Remember to read with an open mind, I am aware that this will always remain debatable a subject, until a science is developed for love making.

“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 25 years or so of growing up in international and coed schools and evidently diarising most expediencies  of dating and the men to female relationships and including the all important question for us men ;

What does a woman want?

I fore warn all men and women reading this, that ‘Arousal is not consent. ‘if some how you manage to influence your partner or manipulate her or him for your own pleasure and desire it will be very selfish and in law considered wrong. It must be consensual land mutually beneficial.

I n many an occasion I have witnessed women and men wet their panties from simply talking, thinking or watching something or someone whom they have absolutely believe have no desire to have sex with. In most occasions they may not even be aware of this and simply discard it as pure clean discharge due to fact they aren’t able to read their own sexual inner body as a result of hereditary inhibitions maybe .They simply walk away, head for the bathroom or toilet wipe themselves and comeback and continue the conversation or simply lay  down and go to sleep. If you become aware of this don’t take advantage, it may actually be a demise of a relationship or be taken out as sexual harassment or worse yet rape. Be tactful read the situation, evaluate and know that you may be going places in the moment to come.

If I had to pick an actor who embodies all the qualities, all the contradictions that I may cause and include in my writing then it would be Denzel Washington. Followed closely by George Cloney and Mickey Rourke in  (9 and half weeks ),and the roles they play in most of their movies . They communicate that kind of power and that he is a good man.” If for some reason you are not a lady intrigued by what is contained in this brief article at this stage, then the following content is not for you. Fiction is the figment of the mind they say, but put into practice and open up a realm of a world with very different pleasures to enjoy beyond the flower image and the white dress, and into the sweet dares of the unknown.


To use a famous quote;

'The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.'

One thing I caution from the outset ,all women are different, and like men are too, but surely all have hearts, eyes and nerves that can sense emotions touch, smell, and above appreciate the touch of a hug. Many women and men may not even understand themselves and may need a partner to walk them through this jungle of emotions and sexuality. Yet I believe all jungles and forests have paths and some may take longer route to navigate around this world of sex and Love mystery hill. Take care though to have the strength to fend off and face several thorns of inhibitions as you tour the wonderland. Have an open mind and you will see the sky above through the leaves of the thick forest trees.

So I managed to list a couple of things I have, come across, researched by way of asking those women, girls I have dated, the several books and magazines I have read, and held talks with women from our home region karagwe,In Tanzania .I also owe great appreciations to the majority of young women attending the Kitchen parties for brides to be, as well as the experienced women, mothers who conduct these rituals.

The English language I believe terms these bridal showers and many other communities have different names for the preparatory event prior to the potential bride actually tying the knot as it were.

Some communities conduct these rituals at even earlier stage when girls become teenagers just after they begin puberty or menstrual periods, or simply reach an age where the traditional calendar will assume they are ready to get married off.

Age and effects reactions remain to be debatable and probably always will be. This is an area of opinion, sometime religious, political and traditional as well. I am not in way an expert in this area so I dared not venture into the abyss of the ensuing anger, mistrust and norms.

My article is purely aimed at trying to understand the intricacies of attempting to shine some little limited light in the art of pleasuring a woman in, and out of marriage. My article may be drawn towards helping a lot of men out there ,but may surely pull across some women towards coming to terms with their inner most sexuality and open up as it were to their hidden pleasures and potentials.

I have written this guideline in form of a daylong clock for ease if following or other may say application.

I ask all of you reading this article to further help me refine some of the advise so as to ultimately come up with a more accurate or closer reflections of approaching the village (of understanding women sexuality) in marriage or relationship.

Gifts, and thought reminders for sexy days.(at trick for new to each other couples)

The physical gift is certainly the most classic expression of love. However, you don't have to just stick with candy, jewelry, and flowers. A gift more tailored to your girlfriend's interests and hobbies will let her know that not only do you care about her enough to spend money, you've been paying attention. Give a sense of you valuing her and to show your ability to look after her in the modern world, as opposed to hunting.

Diet and love supplements for sexy days. (Sexual aides)

Men are better able than women to perceive increases in heart rate at moments of heightened stress and that men may rely more on such physiological signals to define their emotional states, while women depend more on situational cues.

Situational cues maybe as a result of eating out together in a different place for the normal one at home, this brings in a sense of belonging to each other and sometimes may bring out a sense of being amongst strangers (all possibilities) as for men they may simply be looking to find a solution to the hunger.

I will not go into detail other than the basic meals that might be of desire in probably heighten the sexual prowess of the women over dinner (probable).Chocolate increases the blood flow only, wines simply bring the guard down,

Champaign and caviar, the modern association of success of the partner about to take the women, coffee and cake creates a sense of modern attachment to one another in the anticipated morning hours, well done and almost burnt meat in any form replicates a successful hunt (primeval),squids , fish dishes well I hear but haven’t researched.

Other foods usually are associated with each individual historical experience as when those foods were eaten if it were pleasurable .They may arise past relationships, events which led towards a sexually gratifying encounter as soon as the particular food was consumed and not more.

Voyeurism and watching others .

If you think women don’t enjoy watching other people get it on, you’re completely mistaken. Your woman likes to watch for the same reasons as you do: It’s erotic, exhilarating and slightly taboo. She may fantasize about peeping through the neighbor’s bedroom window, spying on a kinky couple in the park or even catching a full-on orgy from the sidelines. Believe it when we tell you she enjoys "watching" just as much as you do; it allows to her be naughty without getting her hands dirty, so to speak


A recent Psychology study showed that women who read romance novels make love with their partners 74% more often than women who don't. I bet you didn't even know that, did you?

 Remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to sex. Always try to assure her that you are on her side even if you know the problems she is facing may not entirely be not of her own lending, after all you know what you are planting the seeds for. This is very hard for men to practice as they are naturally born to be goal, or some say solution orientated.

Hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners—in ways that don’t always involve sex. Studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug.

Arouse a woman in wed lock (To Get Her In The Mood)
Physical affection is an important way to show your wife how you feel. This doesn't necessarily mean sex.

For example, if a woman experiences a certain emotional mind state, licking her slowly on her neck could give her the shivers. If you ever heard a woman moan as you are kissing her neck, you know what I mean. And kissing her there for just 9 seconds could instantly take up her 7 levels of excitement.

If you can make he feel this way, then this is the first step in getting her to orgasm. She will be in this state of mind where she is the sexiest woman alive and all because you made her feel like this. Tease her and play with her a little before you start touching her because this creates some anticipation and gets her body warmed up. She will not be able to resist you.

To this theory, is that women are prone to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.

Many guys approach their wives for sex, while completely ignoring her current mind state. For example, it seems like the most popular method of initiating sex is just flat out suggesting it.


The art of making love to your wife starts before you even get to the bedroom. The role of foreplay is huge to get your wife's endorphins going, fl Novel Idea If you want to drive her up the wall of sexual desire, make seduction look like straight out of a romance novel "he pulls her downward him, they tumble on the floor, she can feel his overbearing presence so close, trembling with unbearable passion she rips off his mask to reveal...someone she KNOWS?!?!"

In order for her to cry (experience an emotional response), he would have to say something to bring out that type of response. It works the same way with getting her in the mood.

This kind of affection means a lot to many women. One great way to let your wife (or girlfriend) know how special she is to you is just by hugging her periodically. And although it can very often get her instantly turned on, that shouldn't be the goal. And the only way a display of physical affection can lead to sex is if she doesn't get the impression that you are doing it because you want sex from her.


RESIST THE URGE TO RUSH THINGS. Even if you know where you want to go and what to do, don't rush. Taking each and every moment as new, significant, and necessary allows you to observe her sexual imprint (what turns her on and what doesn't) and with each piece of information gained (not your preconceived ideas and fixed scripts) you use that to create a need for her to want more.

A good romantic story combines the elements of a little mystery and the promise of happily ever after. This is what seduces a woman to turn page after page.

And when a woman is convinced that she is hot enough to drive you crazy, she really gets c-r-a-z-y. But if all you feel is insecure, inadequate, afraid of being rejected, angry, bored and/or frustrated, that's what you'll subconsciously transfer to your sexual partner. Whatever she feels from you, that's what you get. Bottom line, you've got to bring it to get it!

Flirting and giving her sexual compliments earlier in the evening and this may begin in the early hours of the morning too .


the Back Of Her Neck, It’s funny to me that so many guys KNOW about the fact that women like it when you kiss or bite the back of their neck... but so few guys actually do it for more than a quick thrill. Some women may find the sensation a bit ticklish-- that just means that she's not aroused yet.

Once she is turned on, the back of the neck is one of the most sexually powerful spots on a woman's body. Let her feel the breath on the soft skin there. tease her with your tongue, then gently bite.

Now she may not go crazy right away. Just stay there holding the nape of her neck gently between your teeth. She may start to giggle... just stay for another moment...

Any spot that is ticklish on her body when you are just kidding around, is very, very likely to be powerfully erotic when she is sexually aroused, It may take 10, 20, or even 30 seconds of continuous, light pressure, and she will very suddenly become incredibly aroused..

So, where is your girl ticklish? The bottoms of her feet? Her belly? The space behind her knees? The small of her back? The side of her neck where it meets the shoulders?

A big problem for men is premature ejaculation, but that is not something that would prevent you from satisfying your wife, I am lucky to last two minutes when I am really excited, but I can give my wife multiple orgasms! will prime her up, to want to rip your clothes off...

NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy.

NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

Nipples are high value Hugely sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.

Always moan a bit and when I am coming up for air, I give her compliments about her pussy. Enjoy and have fun and let her know that you are having a great time, as women love it when they feel that their men just love their bodies.

Clit movement =Reach down with two fingers and allow her clitoris to go between the index and middle finger on your hand. Then move your hand in slow circular motions. Use your hands to stimulate her hot button

Use some sort of lubricant if there isn’t enough wetness going around, only after fore play and preferably in secret without her knowing

e.g. light coat of KY jelly, honey, or even Vaseline body lotion

“to reduce discomfort, and the possibility of injury, during vaginal penetration. . . . Ancestral women who did not show an automatic vaginal response to sexual cues may have been more likely to experience injuries during unwanted vaginal penetration that resulted in illness, infertility or even death, and thus would be less likely to have passed on this trait to their offspring.”  to this theory, is that women are prone to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.

When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

Slow's why. Women are process orientated. It's why they can talk on the phone for hours. Us men are more goal oriented we see a goal and immediately rush off to complete it. And this one fact alone makes many of us very incompetent in bed.

Button, Use your hands to stimulate her hot button.

Advanced course for striking a mature woman.

I again remind you of my afore mentioned apologies  for what may view as being  regressive, anti-feminist, pornographic, sadist ,animalistic ,unrefined and many otherwords towards the  examples I have cited in this articles ..

My  Private dancer

Being the centre of attraction and the only object of desire for chosen eyes only, onstage  lends emphasize the role of being desired — and of narcissism — in women’s desiring.

 “The female body,” she said, “looks the same whether aroused or not but only with a small hint hardened nipples, and many women they have yet to realise these minutes developments, and if they become aware, for cultural reasons disagree a given of the female anatomy. The male, without an erection, is announcing a lack of arousal. Through dancing (cradle rocking) the female body always holds the promise, the suggestion of sex” — a suggestion that sends a charge through both men and women.

Most women wouldn’t have the nerve to strip in a public setting, but this female sex fantasy definitely involves taking it all off. She loves the idea of tantalizing you with a striptease, and she’d love to give you a private lap dance. Why? Your enjoyment tells her you find her attractive, and your erection tells her she has control -- a potent combination that women simply can’t get enough of. Now you don’t have to wonder why they are fussy about what they wear in Public.

 “Women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need.

I very sure most women of the consenting age will agree that they want to feel sexy and desired by a man.

But you have to start with the first stage. The good news it's easy as pie, but more importantly it's nearly impossible to not succeed at the first step. So here are 3 first stage tips to getting her tingly inside.
You already know that it's very important to make sure that your partner knows how much you value her. So when you start things off the right way she goes from a neutral mind state to a emotionally happy mind state. And that's because you made her feel special.
About the dynamic at “Zumanity” between the audience and the acrobats, Meana said the women in the crowd gazed at the women onstage, excitedly imagining that their bodies were as desperately wanted as those of the performers.

A study of visual attention in heterosexual men and women. Wearing goggles that track eye movement, her subjects looked at pictures of heterosexual foreplay. The men stared far more at the females, their faces and bodies, than at the males. The women gazed equally at the two genders, their eyes drawn to the faces of the men and to the bodies of the women.

To the facial expressions, perhaps, of men in states of wanting, and to the sexual allure embodied in the female figures.

Domination (you dominating her) during actual penetration mostly

According to an analysis of relevant studies published last year in The Journal of Sex Research, an analysis shows” between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies, often during intercourse, with at least 1 in 10 women fantasizing about sexual assault at least once per month in a pleasurable way. And she has recalled preliminary results of a laboratory study showing surges of vaginal blood flow as subjects listen to descriptions of rape scenes.

 “They’re really fantasies of submission.” She spoke about the thrill of being wanted so much that the aggressor is willing to overpower, to take. “But ‘aggression,’ ‘dominance,’ I have to find better words. ‘Submission’ isn’t even a good word” — it didn’t reflect the woman’s imagining of an ultimately willing surrender.

“I walk a fine line, politically and personally, talking frankly about this subject. I would never, never want to deliver the message to anyone that they have the right to take away a woman’s autonomy over her body. It seems that modern, independent women actually prefer real men who aren’t afraid to embrace their testosterone. This woman fantasizes about you pinning her down, thrusting her thighs apart with your knee and penetrating her as savagely as you possibly can. She wants to feel your fingers snake through her hair and pull her head back; she wants to feel your teeth on her shoulder; she wants to be owned -- if only while in the bedroom (after which, she’ll want a clear return to equality). This win-win female sex fantasy scenario allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism.

A symbolic scene of female lust: a woman pinned against an alley wall, being ravished. Here, in  vision, was an emblem of female heat. The ravisher is so overcome by a craving focused on this particular woman that he cannot contain himself; he transgresses societal codes in order to seize her, and she, feeling herself to be the unique object of his desire, is electrified by her own reactive charge and surrenders. The researcher Meana apologized for the regressive, anti-feminist sound of the scenes.

“What women want is a real dilemma,”  “Women want to be thrown up against a wall but not truly endangered. Women want a caveman and a caring man.

Besides the bonobos, a body of evidence involving rape has influenced her construction of separate systems. She has confronted clinical research reporting not only genital arousal but also the occasional occurrence of orgasm during sexual assault.

Watching other women being handled by a man .

If you think women don’t enjoy watching other people get it on, you’re completely mistaken. As women I would advise to avoid hard core porn ,but rather venture into soft porn movies and shows with insinuations of sex love stories with touch tequila sunrise effect. Leave the triple XXX to those beyond sexual emancipation to begin with.


Enter a Cirque du Soleil show called “Zumanity,” a performance of very soft-core pornography .On the stage of the casino’s theater, a pair of dark-haired, bare-breasted women in G-strings dove backward into a giant glass bowl and swam underwater, arching their spines as they slid up the walls. Soon a lithe blonde took over the stage wearing a pleated and extremely short schoolgirl’s skirt. She spun numerous Hula-Hoops around her minimal waist and was hoisted by a cable high above the audience, where she spread her legs wider than seemed humanly possible. The crowd consisted of men and women about equally, yet women far outnumbered men onstage, and when at last the show’s platinum-wigged M.C. cried out, “Where’s the beef?” the six-packed, long-haired man who climbed up through a trapdoor and started to strip was surrounded by 8 or 10 already almost-bare women.

A compact 51-year-old woman in a shirtdress, Meana explained the gender imbalance onstage in a way that complemented Chivers’s thinking. “The female body,” she said, “looks the same whether aroused or not. The male, without an erection, is announcing a lack of arousal. The female body always holds the promise, the suggestion of sex” — a suggestion that sends a charge through both men and women. And there was another way, Meana argued, by which the Cirque du Soleil’s offering of more female than male acrobats helped to rivet both genders in the crowd. She, even more than Chivers, emphasized the role of being desired — and of narcissism — in women’s desiring.

basis of role-play

Sex with a stranger(the basis of role-play as alternative or emotional roller coaster e.g miss treating your date as she able to understand you???)

For evolutionary and cultural reasons, she said, women might set a high value on the closeness and longevity of relationships: “But it’s wrong to think that because relationships are what women choose they’re the primary source of women’s desire.” “Female desire,” interviews with 20 women in marriages and concluded that most likely bad relationships often kill desire, she argued, good ones don’t guarantee it. The problems comes in defining what is bad , or good for the two sexes or individuals in the relationship whom have been brought up with different backgrounds and norms. In the modern place of work ,many women although may not own up as quickly as men ,almost always fantasize about their bosses co-workers, clients and so on, if it weren’t for traditional norms, policies and barriers  sex would be happening more often with partners other than those at home. In almost a very silent way couples within the community have developed unknowingly the norms of attending wedding parties, dances cultural nights  e.t.c all in efforts to rekindle flames and desires for closeness including physical sex ,after such events.

long-term monotonous  relationships

Research suggests that within long-term relationships, women are more likely than men to lose interest in sex. it takes a greater jolt, a more significant stimulus, to switch on a woman’s libido than a man’s. Within a committed relationship, the crucial stimulus of being desired decreases considerably, not only because the woman’s partner loses a degree of interest but also, more important, because the woman feels that her partner is trapped, that a choice — the challenge of choosing of her — is no longer being carried out.

The generally accepted therapeutic notion that, for women, incubating intimacy leads to better sex is, being misguided. ,

“When it comes to desire,” she added, “women may be far less relational than men.” .But please try not to lie to them,even if though I am inclined very much towards not telling the whole for fear of losing out in one way or another.loolat it is this way, I have many relationships prior to marrying and  I was able to maintain non plutonic relationships’ with all women  I have ever dated numbering some 57 from different countries around thworld and from various cultures, religions, academics disciplines and sport. This also includes striking models, politicians and lawyers too. On the day of my marriage I stopped maintaining regular contact as I am now committed to the one I love, because I expect the same.

Subliminal dreams and taboo topics.arousal

Most women wouldn’t have the chutzpah to act out this top 10 female sex fantasy, but you’d better believe that most have thoroughly enjoyed thinking about it. No-strings- something many women would love to experience, her panties definitely get wet at the idea of a gorgeous male approaching her in a dark, smoky bar and taking her back to his room for a long, hot night of wild sex. This female sex fantasy appeals to her naughtiest side -- the kinky one that rarely sees the light of day.

The study suggests that women are most turned on, subjectively if not objectively, by scenarios of sex with strangers. Though women may not want it, in reality, what such stimuli present.

Arouse a woman in wed lock (To Get Her In The Mood)
Many guys approach their wives for sex, while completely ignoring her current mind state. For example, it seems like the most popular method of initiating sex is just flat out suggesting it. The guy just asks her out of nowhere: "Do you want to have sex?"

They suggest sex (or focus on convincing her to have sex) while refusing to understand that her desire for sexual passion is based on 'emotions’. Could you imagine a guy walking up to a smiling woman and saying to her: "Could you start crying please?"

More than likely, it would be extremely difficult for her to produce 'wet' tears based on the mere suggestion.

in 1992 Komisaruk, collaborating with the Rutgers sexologist Beverly Whipple (who established, more or less, the existence of the G spot in the ’80s), carried out one of the most interesting experiments in female sexuality: by measuring heart rate, perspiration, pupil dilation and pain threshold, they proved that some rare women can think themselves to climax.

 “The horrible reality of psychological research,” Chivers said, “is that you can’t pull apart the cultural from the biological.” If female eros found its true expression over the course of her long research, then flexibility is embedded in the nature of female desire. By some estimates, 30 percent of women, though, the difficulty appear to be in the mind, not the body, so the physiological effects of the drugs have proved irrelevant. She recalled a patient whose lover was thoroughly empathetic and asked frequently during lovemaking, “ ‘Is this O.K.?’ Which was very unarousing to her. It was loving, but there was no oomph” — no urgency emanating from the man, no sign that his craving of the patient was beyond control.

Use some sort of lubricant only after fore play and preferably in secret without her having the knowledge .e.g. light coat of KY jelly, honey, or even Vaseline body lotion

“to reduce discomfort, and the possibility of injury, during vaginal penetration. . . . Ancestral women who did not show an automatic vaginal response to sexual cues may have been more likely to experience injuries during unwanted vaginal penetration that resulted in illness, infertility or even death, and thus would be less likely to have passed on this trait to their offspring.”  to this theory, is that women are prone to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.

Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory of the University of Texas, Austin, the psychologist Cindy Meston and her graduate students deliver studies with on alpha-amylase in exercise-induced sexual arousal in women. She wondered if the theory explained why heterosexual women responded genitally more to the exercising woman than to the ambling man. Possibly, she said, the exposure and tilt of the woman’s vulva during her calisthenics was proc­essed as a sexual signal while the man’s unerect penis registered in the opposite way.

A German company is in the late stages of testing a female-desire drug named Flibanserin. The medication was originally meant to treat depression — it singles out the brain’s receptors for the neurotransmitter serotonin. in early trials,  it showed little promise for relieving depression, it left female — but not male — subjects feeling increased lust. The pills can promote blood flow and lubrication, but this doesn’t do much to create a conscious sense of desire.

 Testosterone, so vital to male libido, appears crucial to females as well.

and in drug trials involving postmenopausal women, testosterone patches have increased sexual activity. But worries about a possibly heightened risk of cancer, along with uncertainty about the extent of the treatment’s advantages, have been among the reasons that the approach hasn’t yet been sanctioned by the F.D.A.

Dyspareunia  is  the condition, which can make intercourse excruciating, patients however have reported reduced genital pain as their desire increased” .


Women to woman interest and silent attraction.

Threesome with another woman.These days, it’s fairly common for straight women to get down with other women now and again,  this female sex fantasy is  not-so-a unrealistic possibility any more. That being said, this threesome fantasy rarely involves you getting playtime with the second hottie, as most girlfriends do not want to see their man touch another woman. In this scenario, you’re meant to play voyeur until your woman is ready for something more hardcore.

In women the opposite is generally true: the higher the drive, the greater the attraction to both sexes, though this may not be so for the older women of over 50 and sole lesbians.

Among the women in her group who called themselves lesbian, to take one bit of the evidence she assembles to back her ideas, just one-third reported attraction solely to women as her research unfolded. And with the other two-thirds, the explanation for their periodic attraction to men was not a cultural pressure to conform but rather a genuine desire.

If a woman doubts any of the above they most likely have the calling from the above to be of service of the holy places. If they remain stagnant but a have a heart for adventure with an open mind they should go out and look for men maybe not like me but others better than me.

Poetry, and thought reminders for sexy days.

The written and oracle or sang gift is certainly the most cherished expression of love. However, you don't have to just stick with songs, letters, and flowers. A gift more tailored to your girlfriend's interests and hobbies will let her know that not only do you care about her enough to spend money, you've been paying attention.

His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms, and his shirt was opened to the third button, making him appear casual yet professional at the same time. To me, this was the sexiest possible combination.

To the search for a full understanding of women’s lust. This search may reflect, as well, a cultural and scientific trend, a stress on the deterministic role of biology, on nature’s dominance over nurture — and, because of this, on innate differences between the sexes, particularly in the primal domain of sex. ?” As for men it is much easier and more scientific  if not biological, Researchers investigating male sexual preferences and what are known as paraphilias —as for women t there still remains several terms to try and describe the art, biology, psychology, history, geography for same study??.

If I had to pick an actor who embodies all the qualities, all the contradictions, it would be Denzel Washington. Followed closely by George Cloney and Mickey Rourke in  (9 and half weeks ),and the roles they play in most of their movies . They communicate that kind of power and that he is a good man.”

 “In 1997, the actress Anne Heche began a widely publicized romantic relationship with the openly lesbian comedian Ellen DeGeneres after having had no prior same-sex attractions or relationships. The relationship with DeGeneres ended after two years, and Heche went on to marry a man.”

 So begins Diamond’s book,

“Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire,” published by Harvard University Press .


She continues: “Julie Cypher left a heterosexual marriage for the musician Melissa Etheridge in 1988. After 12 years together, the pair separated and Cypher — like Heche — has returned to heterosexual relationships.” She catalogs the shifting sexual directions of several other somewhat notable women, then asks, “What’s going on?” Among her answers, based partly on her own research and on her analysis of animal mating and women’s sexuality, is that female desire may be dictated — even more than popular perception would have it — by intimacy, by emotional connection.


Please remember Chivers, too, struggled over language about this subject. It will require the reader to approach the literature in these researches with an open mind. It will require  my fellow Ladies to set their minds into thinking out of the cultural, and political boxes, as the terms used may mean different things to different ladies all with a different past and path ( very personal experiences) towards becoming a mature and sexual women .

Here are some of my guidelines to better chances of winning hearts.

Poetry in its purest form written to remind the one you admire that you are thinking of them.

What could be nicer
Than seeing your smile
Being with you
And just talking awhile,
Laughing and chatting
About all that is new,
Fondly recalling
Our memories, too,
And, though we're apart,
I hope we'll soon be
Enjoying each other's
Warm company.

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
(William Shakespeare).


If it is not erotic, it is not interesting
(Fernando Arrabal)

Life is the flower of which love is the honey
(Victor Hugo).


Dark, alone together
moonlight softens the night
as she stands so sensual
gently by the wall

a small window
open to the world
golden light silhouettes her hips
caresses the curve of her breasts
her face
hidden in dark shadow
safety in shadows
intelligent eyes
gently glow

A full bodied woman  women
vulnerable, confident, excited
delicate hands
arms deliberate at her side
she stands there
a soft etching
to art and beauty
to life and lust

There was the intimation that, at its core, women’s sexuality might not be passive at all. There was the chance that the long history of fear might have buried the nature of women’s lust too deeply to unearth, to view. I have learnt this in the years gone and thank all the women I have loved before from teens to adulthood.

I dedicate this to my Loving wife and yes I do realise these sentences shouldn’t be this close to each other ,but needless to say my wife thankfully thinks out of the box.

George Andrew Kahama Jr.

Views: 1745

Comments are closed for this blog post

Hitched Podcast

Episode 577: Improve Your Marriage By Talking Money

New research shows that couples who have conversations about money have a happier relationship. Dr. Karen Sherman explains why.

© 2020   Created by hitched.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service