Is your relationship growing, at a plateau, or stagnant? Andy Andrews once said we're all either going into a crisis, in a crisis or coming out of a crisis. How true that is! Can you remember a time when your lives seemed to flow without change? We can't. Lack of change, and our fast-paced lives don't seem to coincide. Much of the time we take change in stride, enjoying the hustle and bustle of our busy lives. Keeping your lives organized and orderly can be attributed to the way you communicate, or don't. Finding solid communication tools that work for your relationship is a must. Do you sing to each other, or plan scheduled outings, or perhaps take walks together? Where and how you communicate can add a new dimension to your communication rituals. Journaling is a tool we use often. We refer to it as JATS, that is, Journal Across The Sheets. JATS can be a way to share a difficult topic, or just a way to say "I'm thinking of you."
We've found ACK (always choose kind) to be vital in any communication. Remember you're both on the same team, choosing words that build, not those that wound, is essential. If your topic is a sensitive one, use the sandwich method. Tell your partner something they do that makes your life easier, then talk with them about your concern, and then follow it with another thing you appreciate about them.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith also shares our value of appreciation. In his book, Emotional Fitness for Intimacy he discusses tips to help you appreciate doing the little things with your partner. There are many resources to help couples communicate more effectively. One is simply to set time aside to do it.