, PhD, intelligent, beautiful, well spoken sex therapist was on Oprah November 3rd, 2008.
I was desperately jealous to see Dr. Berman on Oprah and not me. (Oprah’s producers called about fourteen months ago—one month before I gave birth to my son and for whatever reason things never worked out. It still smarts to think about the potential loss…)
So I hope what I'm about to say doesn’t come across as sour grapes.
Are Oprah’s audiences that naïve about their sexuality? Do they not know that women have “three holes” (referring to the urethra, vagina and anus)? Or the litany of very basic sex education that was expounded? I was astounded that the audience sat mesmerized by what Dr. Berman had to say.
As well, Dr. Berman made it seem that all women can have a vaginal orgasm; and, therefore, a combined clitoral/ vaginal orgasm. That all gal has to do is just try hard enough, and voila, she can have a dual orgasm.
This every-woman-can-have-a-vaginal-orgasm, pop-culture ideal that keeps getting perpetuated MAKES ME CRAZY.
For all of the women reading who have never had a vaginal orgasm and feel terribly inadequate because of it: approximately 33% of women can consistently have a vaginal orgasm; 33% of women will sometimes have a vaginal orgasm; and 33% of women will never have a vaginal orgasm.
This is due to your “x” chromosome and has nothing to do with technique, how uptight you are, or how sexual you are.
Let’s end with something Dr. Berman did right
I heart Oprah.
However, I cringe every time she calls the vulva a “va-jay-jay”. I think, “Oprah, you’re such a powerful woman. Please, for the sake of women all over their world who use you as their role model, say ‘vulva’.” Dr. Berman handled this very well, explaining to Oprah and the audience that women need to feel comfortable using the proper terminology when referring to their genitals and not giving them nick names.
I suppose in the big picture, Dr. Berman’s appearance on Oprah has facilitated a conversation about female sexuality where there might not have been one before. For that, I’m grateful.