Your marriage has been through a lot. The passion and the deep connection you used to have are gone, and your husband has turned from your best friend to your enemy. Do you really want to know how to love your husband? This is the #1 secret to restoring the love to your marriage – today.
You don’t have to be ashamed. Believe it or not, MOST married couples go through rough times, in which one or both spouses fall out of love. But if you truly want to know how to love your husband again, there’s a very good chance that you can save your marriage and even make it happier than it ever was.
What you need is commitment, knowledge, and a set of skills that have helped other couples create great marriages (If you want to learn these skills from a professional family therapist – This is where to start).
The #1 Secret to Restoring the Love
Your friends and confidants will probably tell you that it’s impossible to force your self into falling in love with your spouse. You either feel the love, or you don’t.
That is simply not true.
You were once deeply in love with your husband. These feelings are probably still there, but they can’t get out because they are stuck behind anger, frustration, exhaustion and unresolved conflicts. If there was a way to lift these negative feelings, the love that you once felt can resurface again – Very quickly.
The secret is controlling your ancient instinct – The anger instinct. This is one of the most important steps to take if you want to rebuild the love in your marriage. Anger has turned your husband from your best friend to your enemy.
Do You Know How Your Best Friend Turned into Your Enemy?
You may find it hard to believe, but anger – An ancient instinct that was intended to help us deal with a TRUE enemy – is exactly what turned your husband into your enemy. As a modern society, we managed to control other ancient instincts: We will not have sex with the first person we see on the street, even if we are feeling horny. We won’t snatch someone else’s sandwich from his hands – even if we are very hungry. But we can’t seem to control our anger responses.
When we are attacked (even if it’s just verbally) we immediately feel that the attacker is our enemy.
The moment you attack your spouse or your spouse attacks (accusation, blaming, personal criticism, name calling), you will automatically identify each other as enemies. And who can LOVE their enemy?
With time, you feel like the love is lost and all you can concentrate on is that your husband annoys you, that he is selfish, and you don’t understand why he is so mean to you. This can and will destroy your marriage.
So…How to Love Your Husband – Again?
The only solution is to start treating your husband as your best friend instead of your enemy. Easier said than done, right?
You have to control the ancient instinct of anger. You have a conscious mind and only YOU decide how to behave and what to say in life situations. Every time you speak to your husband, or he speaks to you, remind yourself to communicate with him as if he was your best friend.
You don’t have to agree with what he says, you don’t have to do what he demands you to do and you don’t have to like the way he talks to you. Consider it a good thing that the communication is still there. That he is trying to share something with you, even if he doesn’t know how to do it nicely.
It won’t be easy.
But when you start treating him like your best friend, he will do the same with you, even without noticing it at first. If you don’t attack him when you communicate, he will stop identifying you as his enemy too.
This is not a simple process and there are more step by step instructions for rebuilding the love in your marriage – Right here.
Even if you are the only one trying, it will make a significant change to your relationship, guaranteed. If you can accomplish this, the next steps will be much easier. This is the first step in the path of finding that deep and passionate connection you have always dreamt of.