Married Life from Hitched - Social network for married couples

Why do you feel so backward compared to your friends? Why do you get depressed when you look at what they’re doing that you’re not?

"Are you going to the barbecue this weekend?” a girlfriend asks. “No,” you reply, not really knowing which barbecue she’s referring to, but since you weren’t invited to any, you’re not going anyway. “Oh, well that’s too bad,” your friend says, “We’ve been having barbecues all summer. So what are you doing?” “Nothing much,” you reply, “Errands, chores, you know – the usual.” “We’re refinishing our deck,” your friend says. “We want to get it done before we go on our annual camping trip.” “That’s nice,” you say weakly. “We’re going to get in some white-water rafting this year, maybe go whale watching,” she continues. You’re miserable. Clearly, compared to her, you have no life.

Of course you have a life. The operative word is – you, as in “your” life. One person’s idea of how to enjoy life can be diametrically opposed to another’s, and both are perfectly fine. Every person is unique, every life is unique.

Just because your friend has a variety of interests doesn’t mean whatever you do with your time is meaningless. Stop comparing your life to hers. Comparisons that put you down are hurtful and don’t get you anywhere. If what your friend enjoys gives you ideas about what you might enjoy, fine, otherwise, simply be happy for her that she is having a good time, and go about your life in the way you see fit.

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