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Why do some guys think they have the right to tell you what to wear or how to wear it? What is it about guys buying clothes for you that feels great but weird at the same time?

I'm at the mall, and I can't help but notice a very dashing young man selecting clothes for his girlfriend to try on. "Mmm, that's not really my type," she says, of one of the outfits, "Oh, you'd look great in it. Try it on – for me," he says, handing it to her. "OK," she says, giving in. And when she comes out of the dressing room, he raves about it, and says to the salesgirl, "We'll take it," even though his girlfriend says "I don't know, Honey, I'm not sure it's really me." He gives her a quick kiss, saying "You'll get used to it," and hands her another garment.  A shopper watching them says to her friend, "I wish my boyfriend would do that. Boy is she lucky."

No, not so lucky. Because whether she realizes it or not, she's being shaped by her boyfriend into what he wants her to be. She's not being loved and respected for who she is. Yet the whole idea of a relationship is for two people to come together and share their differences, as well as their commonalties.

When your boyfriend insists that you dress a certain way, he's not appreciating your uniqueness. He's only wanting to love someone who will please him. And that's not love. That's control. Sure, we all do things to please our lovers, but there's a world of difference between choosing to do something and having to do it.

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