The other day I went on a mountain biking trek with my husband - up Mt. Tamalpais, a majestic and beloved mountain to our area - with a view of the San Francisco skyline on a clear day. He is an avid mountain and road biker - and the sport is a big part of his life. He trains, he monitors himself with high tech gadgets and spends a lot of time lovingly caring for his gear. I'm a very active person as well but biking hasn't historically been on the top of my list. But - when I went biking with him the other day, I so enjoyed taking in his sheer enthusiasm to show me one of the trails he'd been on countless times before and his coaching as to when to use the gears - and when to conserve energy.
Aside from the fact that the biking was so much fun, we both truly enjoyed sharing this experience together.
I think it's really important for couples to not only express interest in each other's hobbies, etc - but to partake in them together is possible. I've seen plenty of marriages where there's little commonality in what each partner likes to do but I always encourage them both to try to find some overlap or take turns enjoying what the other enjoys, just because it's so meaningful to both.
I made an active decision to join my husband in one his favorite activities. We both not only got a lot of it as a couples - but I think I might have gotten bitten by the "mountain biking bug!"
I look forward to the next excursion up Mt. Tamalpais with my guy.
Question: What shared experiences / activities do you enjoy with your partner?
Question: Is there a lot of common ground between you - or do you struggle to find the shred of overlap?
Lisa Brookes Kift is a Marriage and Family Therapist and author of The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples, a cost effective, do-it-yourself, therapist-guided alternative to counseling.