How do you feel about your parenting? Do you enjoy it? Is it easy for you? Do you love every minute? Or are you stressed and frustrated? Do you feel like you need to be so much more and do so much more for your kids?
Maybe you are just trapped in one of the beliefs that are making your parenting hard instead of a joyful, fun and easy experience.
Let’s look at some common myths parents are believing that often make their lives miserable.
Myth #1: Parenting is hard work
Did you ever hear of the Law of Attraction? Or at least of the saying »What goes around comes around.« So if you’re constantly telling to yourself, how hard and tough and difficult it is, that’s what you’ll get. Because you are focused on all those negative things.
Why don’t you start just by telling yourself, and everyone else, how easy it is and how you really enjoy it? It might not work every single minute but start looking at the bright side. Look for the fun in the whole adventure. Make it fun for everyone and you will soon enjoy your time with kids.
Myth #2: I need to be perfect
Are you always under pressure that you are not good enough? That you should be better? Do better? In doing so, we lose ourselves, trying to be something we are not.
But you can never be PERFECT, no matter how hard you try, as said by buy cheap college papers. We all have our flaws and shortcomings and they will definitely affect our children.
So just try to be perfect in your own imperfect way. Admit it to yourself and to your kids, that you make mistakes too. You can make a great role model by showing them that you’re human too, while you also teach them how to be yourself and how to react if you actually do something wrong.
Myth #3: I need to know everything
There are so many books and webpages and advice from everyone around you, that you might think you need to know a lot. Not to mention that you need to have all the answers.
But you don’t. It’s perfectly OK to say »I don’t know.« You can always ask someone or look it up somewhere for the information you need at that moment. And sometimes not knowing is actually a bliss.
Myth #4: I know what’s best for my kids
This is true to some extent. But do you really know the best solution for every situation? I don’t think so.
Following this myth you can get involved in solving the problems for the kids and instead of them, knowing only fragments or half truths. I saw many parents fight for something that was not really beneficial for the child. Often times parents get involved from their own ego and beliefs which really don’t help in raising responsible, accountable kids.
Sometimes listening to others and allowing them to solve the problem might be the best option.
Myth #5: My way is the right way
Because we think we know our child and what is best for them, we offer solutions, directions and instructions for kids to follow instead giving them the final result that we want and leaving them to their own imagination and creativity.
We often think that because we are adults we know better. We’ve been through different situations, we learned our lessons, we read books… So we know everything there is to know.
We don’t allow kids’ opinions to affect our decisions. Let alone to change them.
Is it really that important if the clothes are folded in a certain way or the homework is done right after the lunch? Or if the child has two different socks or unmatching clothes? It is not.
Keep in mind your wanted outcome and leave your child some space to show his own thinking and creativity. Give instructions but then step aside and only check the finished result.
Myth #6: I’m responsible for my kids
Before you jump at me – YES, you are legally responsible and you should take care of them and protect them.
But are you really responsible for every action they make? Are you responsible if they fight at school? Or if they don’t do the homework? NO. That’s their responsibility.
You are responsible to teach and show your children what is right or wrong. And it is your responsibility to show them (and enforce if necessary) the consequences. But in no way you are responsible for every step they make.
Myth #7: I need to protect my children
Absolutely, no doubt about it. But do you want to protect them from life itself? You want to put them in cotton wool and have them under control 24/7?
Often times we confuse protection and control. When we think we are protecting our children, we are actually taking away their power to protect themselves in the future.
Sometimes it’s better to take the risk.
All these myths together lead to the perception, that every situation in our parenting is a battle to win. And we must win them all in order to succeed as a parent. Otherwise we can be seen as weak, non-decisive and we might be charged of raising spoiled kids that get what they want.
What to do?
If we want to »win the war« we must sometime lose some battles.
But loosing here is not a bad thing, it is more like giving up the fight for things that are not so important. If we give the children a choice to make their own decisions, they will feel empowered and trusted. Of course we can supervise and ask kids to think about what they’re doing and how and with whom and why.
It also means that we allow our children to fight their own battles and that we stand behind them for support and help if needed. We are not taking control over the situation, embarrassing our child and belittling him.
We will make mistakes, for sure. Kids will also make mistakes. We will all make some bad decisions and bad choices. That’s part of the life. But it’s the learning that we need to allow, support and encourage.
Get over these myths and enjoy your time with kids, leave frustration and stress behind to be parent they want and deserve.
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