Noelle Nelson's Blog (140)

Ack!! Your computer is acting up—again—and despite hitting “escape” and every other “get-me-outta-here” key you can think of,  you’re in frozen hell. “I hate this computer!” you mutter. Your co-worker glances over at you, “That’s what you always say. Maybe you should try talking pretty to it.” You snort, “Right! And the computer can hear me and will suddenly unlock itself. I’ll bet you still believe in Santa Claus.” Your co-worker shrugs: “Works for me.”

You grumble and…

You know how it goes. You’re huddled around the coffee machine, riveted, listening to a co-worker’s latest rendition of “and then Tom texted Thea saying she was a conniving . ..”

Oh, the fun of office gossip! Oh, the titillation and subversive thrill that comes out of “I know something about you that you don’t know that I know… and I’ve made sure all the with-it people know and ha-ha doesn’t that make me smart and you dumb!” Sometimes it’s not even something real –…

You run from store to store looking for that perfect Valentine’s Day gift, the one that will truly express how you feel about your love. And be something she or he will really likes.

Right. That last part’s a bit of a problem. The things your beloved will really like may be way outside your pocket-book, so back you go into the mall – or into a more intensive web-search.

Then of course, there’s shopping for the perfect Valentine Day experience, because heaven knows, going to…

You know your usual litany of New Year’s resolutions: “This year I’m gonna lose 5 – 10 -50 pounds. This year I swear I’ll get to the gym at least twice a week. This year I absolutely positively will not spend past my credit limit. This year I swear I’ll never have another ginger Martini (given the consequences of your last bout with said delectable beverage).

It’s your standard January 1 list most years – and it’s a great list!

But how about if instead of – or in addition to -…

You’ve made your list, you’ve checked it twice. Oh, no, not that list – I’m talking about the list you’ve made of the 1022 ½ things you need to get done for the Holidays, everything from the perfect gift for Cousin Henry, to the perfect surprise for your sweetheart, to the perfect outfit for that Holiday get-together, to the perfect menu for the Holiday meal, to the perfect cleaning of your home so your oh-so-imperfect relatives will approve . . . the list goes on.

As you…

You stare at the digital read-out on your scale, unbelieving. 10 pounds?! How could you possibly have gained 10 pounds? You eat like a bird! Nothing but fruits and nuts and veggies. Of course there was that pasta dish the other night. And the irresistible danish at work. And the simply sublime butter sauce on the . . . OK, all right. So you’re eating more than just fruits and nuts and veggies. But 10 pounds?!

You swear yourself into your too-tight gym clothes, force yourself…

You love your Smartphone, your laptop, your car’s navigational device, your programmable oven, TV, and all the rest of your modern day devices. They make life so much easier in so many respects! You can communicate with anyone anytime, by phone, by text, by videochat. You can Google all sorts of information instantly! You can compare prices online for virtually any product at any time of day or night. You can figure out which TV programs you want to record weeks ahead of time. You wish your…

You’ve got your work down to a system. You’ve been doing it long enough so that you know what to do, how to do it, and get your assigned tasks and duties done well (for the most part) and on time (for the most part), regardless of whether you’re assigning your “to-dos” to yourself or you have a boss who does that. You get that cost-of-living increase most years, or your customer base grows a little every year, so all should be well.

Yet you’re plagued by an undercurrent of…

You throw the credit card bill in the middle of the kitchen table with a victorious flourish. Ta-da! You were right. HE’s the one who maxed out the card. HE’s the one who spent needless dollars on some foolish whats-it that wasn’t in the budget. HE’s the one who puts his selfish needs above the good of the family. HE…well, HE walked out of the room. Fine, who cares. You gloat happily.

Or SHE’s the one who drank all the OJ and didn’t replace it. SHE’s the one who can’t load a…