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Noelle Nelson's Blog – October 2009 Archive (5)

How to Get More of What You Want From Your Honey

You: “We’re always behind because you don’t make enough money!”

Him: “I’m doing the best I can, whaddya want from me, blood?”

If it meant more money, you might just say “yes.”

Unfortunately, all you’d really get is more of what you’re getting right now – nothing.

Good managers in the workplace know that you don’t get people to perform better and produce more, by yelling at them and browbeating them. You get more from people by encouraging what… Continue

Added by Noelle Nelson on October 30, 2009 at 6:43pm — No Comments

What Money Can’t Buy In a Marriage, Laughter Can

Finances are tight, you hardly go out anymore, so dinner at a restaurant with white tablecloths and candlelight is a BIG deal. You get this great coupon, finagle reservations, get yourself all dressed up (OK, so it’s last year’s fashion, or the year before, who cares), ready for a super night with your Honey.

Only when you get to “El Swanky Restaurant” the hostess informs you in a frosty tone that your coupon expired – yesterday, and no, she won’t make an exception.… Continue

Added by Noelle Nelson on October 28, 2009 at 2:53pm — No Comments

How to Get Him to Tell You He Loves You

You: “But do you love me? You never say you love me anymore.”

Him: “I’m here, aren’t I? Of course I love you. There, you satisfied now?”

No. You’re not. Duh.

You don’t want to hear “I love you” under duress. You want to hear it soulfully, longingly, preferably continuously.

Good luck.

Unless your guy happens to be extremely right-brained (like women are), or a died-in-the-wool womanizer (not a good choice), he’s unlikely to verbalize… Continue

Added by Noelle Nelson on October 23, 2009 at 12:55pm — No Comments

How to Stop the Yelling

You: Crying. “I hate you! You’re so mean to me!”

Him: Yelling. “You’re nothing but a nag! All you ever do is bitch!”

Oh dear. Not good. Fighting below the belt – name calling and vicious accusations. Gonna get ugly if you keep this up.

Back to the drawing board you go . . . learning to talk about what’s bothering you before it gets so heated you can’t think straight, taking a couples class on conflict-management together, agreeing on time-outs,… Continue

Added by Noelle Nelson on October 14, 2009 at 6:53pm — No Comments

How to Get In The Mood When You’re Not!

You: “I’m not in the mood. Just go to sleep. I’ve got a headache.”

Him: “You’re never in the mood.” Rolls over. “Jeez, you’re giving me a headache.”

Remember the classic scene in “Annie Hall”? Where the gal tells her therapist “We have sex all the time – twice a week!” and the guy tells his therapist “We never have sex – only twice a week!”

Getting on the same “in the mood” wavelength isn’t always easy. But if you’re gonna keep your marital body and soul… Continue

Added by Noelle Nelson on October 7, 2009 at 12:37pm — No Comments

Hitched Podcast

Episode 587: Loneliness Within Marriage

Even if you're in isolation with your spouse doesn't mean that you still can't be lonely. Dr. Karen Sherman joins to discuss how this is possible, what this means and how to address feeling lonely in marriage.

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