Noelle Nelson's Blog (139)

Most of us think of intent as a “kind of” “sort of” thing: you intend to go on vacation, but you really don’t do much about it. Or you intend to go to the market, but some other errand got in the way. Or you intend to ask your boss for a raise, but you got cold feet and chickened out.

Which is a waste of a valuable tool, for in truth, intent is a powerful, dynamic mechanism. It’s not just wishful thinking.  It’s a determination to act in a certain way.

Intent…

Babies smile - a lot. Beauty queens smile - on cue. Winners smile – most of the time, in between all that jumping and high-fiving. Smiles are a way of expressing our happiness, our joy, our pride, our gratitude.

More than that, smiles are a way of connecting, of saying – without words – I’m with you on this, I acknowledge you as a fellow human or a delightful animal or a beautiful flower, someone/something I’m in sync with.

All this you already know,…

Caesar, not as in “Caesar’s Palace” in Las Vegas, but Caesar, as in Julius Caesar, the man, was truly an amazing individual. If he were alive today, I sincerely believe he’d be the most successful man on the planet, for one simple reason: the dude had incredible follow-through. Whatever he promised his legions, the people…

So much of our time is spent fixing problems: problems at work, issues with our loved ones, concerns with our health, our weight, our finances. You name it, 90% of our waking hours (and so many of our sleeping ones as well) are spent in having yet another problem brought to our attention, with its clamoring need; “Fix me, Fix me!”

But what if, just for this Valentine’s Day, you shifted your attention to “What’s right with” – well, everything? What’s right with your work, your loved…

The airport was crowded, noisy, chaotic. Nothing unusual about that. I was waiting, properly queued up, to board my flight. To my right was a line of nine wheelchair-bound folk also waiting patiently. All but one, who was waiting not so patiently. She was sixth in the line of pre-boarding wheelchairs, and she was not happy about it. She muttered and groused about how long it was taking, and who did they think they were to put her sixth in line, she’d get a terrible seat, and it was going to…

You bury your head in your hands. You’d really like to run screaming from your cubicle, but for one, that would get you instantly fired, for two, your shoes are definitely not made for running. But the stress! Not only does your job stress you out, but there’s your family, friends, chores, errands, social media to keep up with – AARGH! It’s enough to make a grown man/woman weep.

So off you go to yoga/pilates (how to make the time for that is yet another stressor), or…

Summer blockbusters are full of Masters of the Universe—Superheroes/heroines, Emperors and Kings—in righteous battle. And, when someone storms your castle – be that of your thoughts, your actions, your behavior—don’t you defend it with all your might? “You’re wrong!” “You messed up, not me!” “I didn’t do that, you did!” We like to be Masters of our own Universe, so when someone points the finger at us and tell us we’re wrong, we did it wrong—well, we don’t like it, not one…

The other day, a good friend of mine gave a talk in which he described how he overcame his addiction to alcohol, and it basically came down to this: he decided he had a choice. To ease the pain of life by drinking, or to choose happiness. To stop looking at everything that didn’t work in his life, and deliberately look at what was working.

In other words, to shift his focus. Now, this wasn’t a magic wand he was waving. His whole life didn’t radically change from one day to the next,…

Ever watch a skilled dog trainer work with a puppy? The trainer never ever punishes the sweet beastie for not sitting on the “sit” command, but rather rewards the dog with praise and treats the instant his furry butt hits the ground. The dog—smart pooch—gets the idea real fast, and proceeds to sit on cue with remarkable consistency.

It’s no different with employees. Any good manager knows that catching employees in the act of doing something right is far more effective in…

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? That you’re too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny? That you somehow grew a pimple overnight, or a new set of crows feet, or maybe it’s time to go shaved-head considering that ever-expanding bald spot?

Or do you see your wonderful smile, the sparkle in your eyes, the confident set of your…

My German Shepherd-mix rescue pup, Baer, is a great dog. He’s all legs and energy, so sometimes I think of him as Fred Astaire, and sometimes more as the Energizer Bunny on steroids. Especially near mealtimes.

I feed my dogs twice a day, and I’m convinced they have clocks in their stomachs, because right around 5:30 p.m. (a half hour before their 6:00 p.m. meal), they get antsy. In particular, Baer. But around 5:30 p.m., I may very well still be working—as I am today, and…

No, not “I don’t care about you” – that would be awful! Just “I don’t care.” By itself. As in “I don’t care that you left your socks on the floor.” “I don’t care that you over/under-tipped the server.” “I don’t care that you were five minutes late.”

Because here’s the thing: nothing kills romance faster than getting bugged about every little thing that’s different about how the two of you go about life.

Certainly, there are major differences, critical…

Atlanta’s Homeward Choir, a group of 26 homeless men from Atlanta’s Central Night Shelter, was invited to sing at the White House in December of 2015. When the group got the invitation--and how that came about is a wonderful story --among the many questions the choir members asked…

The Holidays! You’ve made your list and you’re checking it twice. Let’s see: not enough money in the budget to get the kids what they really want. Not enough for a quick two day get-away for you and your S.O., given the cost of transportation, accommodations, and a sitter who will put up for that long with the kids and your menagerie of 2 cats, 1 dog, 3 hamsters and 1 and ½ lizard (tail missing). Relatives who are thrilled to announce they’re flying in for a nice long visit, of course…

How often do you stop to catch yourself in the act of doing something right? Or anybody else for that matter . . .

As opposed to dinging yourself for every single mistake you make, every flaw you find on your face, in your character, your clothes, your finances, your relationship, your friends--need I go on? We’ve got catching ourselves (and/or our friends, employers, loved ones, strangers, celebrities and whoever else) doing it wrong down to a fine art, practiced umpteen…

Travel delays are never fun, but from time to time they are bound to happen. You can’t expect the weather to cooperate every time you fly, and better they should repair those mechanical issues before you fasten your seat belt.

I’ve learned to take a deep breath, chill, remind myself it’s not the end of the world, and then look for a way to appreciate whatever extra time I’m now spending in the airport. Reading always works for me, so does getting in some phone-chat time with…

Your most recent attempt to persuade your boss of how much you deserve that raise/bonus/perk landed in the unfathomable depths of his “No way no how” with barely a ripple. You are depressed, disgusted, and yes - truth be told - massaging your hurt ego with liberal doses of self-pity.

Which brings to mind all the times your boss has been less than appreciative of your skills, talents, efforts, unpaid overtime, etc.  Like always! And down the road of history you go, your…

You hate your boss, you hate your work, your co-workers drive you crazy, and you’re convinced you’re underpaid even if you weren’t horribly overworked. You’re stressed all the time! Small wonder. . .

You’re tired, achy, rarely get a peaceful night’s sleep, and now you’ve come down with a cold! Which you seem to catch more and more frequently, plus there’s your stomach upset and now some sort of stupid rash on your neck. All of which you are convinced is due to your…

Valentine’s Day: a joy if you’re blessed with a wonderful relationship, an annoyance (or worse) if you’re single and unhappy about it, or in a “challenging” (aka miserable) relationship . . .

But what if - splendidly coupled, despairingly single, or somewhere in between - you chose, this Valentine’s Day to fall in love with your LIFE! To expand the idea of a day devoted to the love in our lives beyond that “special person,” mate or significant other, and celebrate the love…

Thanksgiving is almost here - that time of year when “get your gratitude on!” is the game of the day. And indeed, you do have your gratitude well in gear.

You are ready to express your gratefulness for your family, your friends, your job (maybe, could be a stretch), Pilates, football, the roof over your head, your pets, your new smart phone, the Macy’s sale, and lots more.

The only thing notably lacking in your list of “things I am grateful for” is YOU. Ah…