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Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT's Blog (61)

LIBERATING NEW PERSPECTIVES…

Growing and developing as a couple is no easy feat. It requires intention, consciousness, commitment, dedication, and effort. Being in tune with signs that change is needed is a good way of promoting growth for the couple.

Signs that indicate…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 12:19pm — No Comments

ARE YOU CODEPENDENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

One version of couples struggling that I come across are couples with partners that are codependent. These are the couples that are stuck in patterns that they can’t seem to break, they have a lot of fighting and drama or complete disconnect (conflict avoiding), they feel they are behind…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 12:18pm — No Comments

STOP REACTING, START RESPONDING!

Do you find that your interactions with your partner include some of the following?

  • Poor or no eye-contact
  • Giving of the back or talking to the back
  • Talking to the air
  • Not responding, acknowledging or…
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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 12:14pm — No Comments

PRAISE, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT & MORE!

One of the love languages is Words of Affirmation (book referenced above).Words of affirmation come in many forms including praise, acknowledgement, credit, recognition, validation, compliments, and appreciation. Each of these are a gift in and of themselves. When you use these, you show your…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 12:13pm — No Comments

HOW TO CREATE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DESIRE

Usually we have good intentions and mean to invest in our relationship.Somehow this fizzles from the moment we have that thought or attitude to the next moment… We are very fickle in our thinking about the status and course of our relationship. One moment we are partners for life, the next we can’t wait…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 12:10pm — No Comments

HAVE AWESOME OUTCOMES, EXERCISE YOUR POWER TO CHOOSE!

Our relationship and life are a reflection of the choices we make… I find that we make poor choices at almost every turn and then wonder how come our relationship and life are not as we’d prefer them to be… I find that we do not own our Self and our life, that we do not know who we are and what we…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 10:30am — No Comments

“CRYING” GETS YOUR NEEDS MET!

When we are babies we learn to get our needs met by alerting our parents of a poopie diaper, hungry belly, or an ouchie with our crying. As adults, we continue to try to get our needs met with our “crying”.  Our crying has become more sophisticated over time and now takes the form of…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 10:30am — No Comments

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER!

A key ingredient in a satisfying relationship is Understanding. When we don’t feel understood we are out of sinc with one another and our needs can’t be met.

Understanding validates our existence, is respectful and mindful. It is amazing that most…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on August 28, 2018 at 10:30am — No Comments

Is Your Partner Your Life Partner?

Honor your Self. What does that mean? In my book, it means getting in touch with our Core, True, Authentic Self, our Soul, and operating from it in all we do.

This means being in connection with our Self, knowing our Self. Most of the time we are in a fog and cacophony of daily minutiae, mired in our ego approach to our relating and our life. We are shut down and completely disconnected from our Self. Who are you? What is the point…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on May 9, 2014 at 6:49am — 1 Comment

Financial or Emotional Crisis? Get Security Today!

Money. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples are made up of two individuals that have different backgrounds, exposure, experience and…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on May 7, 2014 at 12:00pm — No Comments

From Desperate Anger to Blooming Passion

The season of renewal is finally here and with it comes an invitation to awaken to life. Note the blue skies, the sun shining, birds chirping, flowers blooming. What an enchanting time to be alive. The possibilities are countless.

As we are coming out of hibernation, it is time to look around and take stock. How much did we neglect ourselves and our relationship over the winter months? Did the month of love make an impact in your…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on May 2, 2014 at 12:00pm — No Comments

Are You Treated Like Royalty?

You have to be happy with yourself first… You cannot be happy in your relationship if you are not first happy with your Self… If you are not your Authentic Self, your Soul Self, you are just a robot completing daily tasks and missing the whole point of life… This is not Living…

What is the purpose of your Life? Why are you alive, today, right now? 

I believe we all have a Purpose and we have unhappy…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:00pm — No Comments

Facing Codependence in Your Relationship

When we think of codependence we think of it in terms of its association with substance dependence. We think of a partner who is codependent with a substance dependent partner. But this is not the case. Codependence can be a condition and state of being and dealing with life all on its own.

Codependence comes about from being raised in less-than-nurturing family systems where certain parental practices that are…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:00pm — No Comments

Managing Anger in Your Relationship…

Anger is a poison in our relationship when it is misunderstood and unleashed. It gets in the way of understanding, connectedness, intimacy, love, and satisfaction in our relationship. Anger in its explosive or simmering manifestation, is a sign that something is wrong when it is prevalent. This indicates that there is pain and dysfunction in the relationship and that something needs to change.

I do not consider Anger…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:00pm — No Comments

Prevent Blows to Your Relationship!

Most relationships have to endure a history of trauma experienced by one or both partners and a current trauma(s).

Traumas include abandonment, neglect, abuse, rejection, control, accidents, assaults/attacks, catastrophes, infidelity, infertility, loss, relocation, birthing and becoming parents, substance abuse, chronic illness, eating disorders, depression, extreme emotionality, obsessions, PTSD, unemployment, disability. Some of these are…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 25, 2014 at 10:00am — No Comments

Are You Up for Unconditional Love?

I often find that couples hold a fairy tale expectation of happily ever after, for which I chide them. I dismiss this notion not because it seems unrealistic, but because couples go about creating their fairy tale all wrong. For you see, “happy endings” are possible… This is called unconditional Love…

I used to think unconditional love in and of itself was unrealistic, but boy was I wrong! I myself, bought into the self-preservation…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 23, 2014 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Addictions, Depression, Anxiety and Other Goodies.

Being parented by imperfect parents/caregivers is considered a traumatic experience of childhood in some of the trauma and attachment literature and information I have come across. This includes being abused, abandoned and/or neglected to various degrees.

When trauma is defined in this fashion, it follows that most of us experienced traumatizing childhoods to some extent, and therefore were wounded rowing up. This has all…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 23, 2014 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Surviving Infidelity in Your Relationship.

What is an affair? What constitutes cheating? Infidelity? These are very personal definitions. Most people have their own version of what constitutes what. Here is a definition I have adapted from experts in the field that works well: An affair involves one of the partner’s passion being directed at someone or something other than their partner that often includes secrecy.

Affairs/cheating can include making-out with or kissing someone at a club,…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Are You Changing Enough?

It’s very interesting to me to watch couples struggle and go around and around… I find that this happens with the ones where partners refuse to take ownership of their own contribution to their relationship’s status quo and are fixated with having their partner change… These are the partners that also are waiting for the magic pill and for me to fix their partner. I have a bit of news for these partners – it ain’t gonna happen!

When partners…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Betrayal – Loving and Trusting Afterwards.

It is very painful to experience betrayal in our relationships. I am primarily referring to betrayal by loved ones. This is the most painful betrayal. Betrayal may happen in many different forms and can be experienced by anyone at anytime during their life time

Betrayal might take place in the form of sexual, physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse by a perpetrator onto a weaker subject. It can take the form of abandonment and…

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Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:00pm — No Comments






Hitched Podcast

Episode 503: Marriage May Lower Risk of Heart Attacks and Strokes

Researchers analyized the results of many different studies and found married couples had lower risk of heart attacks and strokes. Dr. Karen Sherman explains why this might be.

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