You have to be happy with yourself first… You cannot be happy in your relationship if you are not first happy with your Self… If you are not your Authentic Self, your Soul Self, you are just a robot completing daily tasks and missing the whole point of life… This is not Living…
What is the purpose of your Life? Why are you alive, today, right now?
I believe we all have a Purpose and we have unhappy…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:25pm — No Comments
When we think of codependence we think of it in terms of its association with substance dependence. We think of a partner who is codependent with a substance dependent partner. But this is not the case. Codependence can be a condition and state of being and dealing with life all on its own.
Codependence comes about from being raised in less-than-nurturing family systems where certain parental practices that are…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:17pm — No Comments
Anger is a poison in our relationship when it is misunderstood and unleashed. It gets in the way of understanding, connectedness, intimacy, love, and satisfaction in our relationship. Anger in its explosive or simmering manifestation, is a sign that something is wrong when it is prevalent. This indicates that there is pain and dysfunction in the relationship and that something needs to change.
I do not consider Anger…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 30, 2014 at 7:14pm — No Comments
“O.k. Yes. I had an affair with her”.
My husband couldn’t look in my eyes when he finally admitted his 6-month affair with his co-worker.
I went completely silent for about 10 long seconds.
I wouldn’t exaggerate if I said that about 50 questions went through my…Continue
Added by Lisa Penn on April 27, 2014 at 10:46am — No Comments
Most relationships have to endure a history of trauma experienced by one or both partners and a current trauma(s).
Traumas include abandonment, neglect, abuse, rejection, control, accidents, assaults/attacks, catastrophes, infidelity, infertility, loss, relocation, birthing and becoming parents, substance abuse, chronic illness, eating disorders, depression, extreme emotionality, obsessions, PTSD, unemployment, disability. Some of these are…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 25, 2014 at 10:16am — No Comments
I often find that couples hold a fairy tale expectation of happily ever after, for which I chide them. I dismiss this notion not because it seems unrealistic, but because couples go about creating their fairy tale all wrong. For you see, “happy endings” are possible… This is called unconditional Love…
I used to think unconditional love in and of itself was unrealistic, but boy was I wrong! I myself, bought into the self-preservation…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 23, 2014 at 5:07pm — No Comments
Being parented by imperfect parents/caregivers is considered a traumatic experience of childhood in some of the trauma and attachment literature and information I have come across. This includes being abused, abandoned and/or neglected to various degrees.
When trauma is defined in this fashion, it follows that most of us experienced traumatizing childhoods to some extent, and therefore were wounded rowing up. This has all…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 23, 2014 at 5:02pm — No Comments
Sonia Van Meter is a wife and stepmother who has made the semifinalist list to join a crew on a one-way trip to Mars in the attempt to establish a permanent human colony there. From over 200,000 applicants, Sonia is now just one of 1,058 remaining for the Mars One mission. Her husband, Jason Stanford, has written a…Continue
Added by hitched on April 22, 2014 at 12:30pm — No Comments
Researchers from the University of Hertfordshire surveyed 1,000 people and found that 94% of couples who touch while sleeping said they were happy, while only 68% of couples who didn’t touch while asleep expressed equal satisfaction within their relationship. If couples don't touch, they should at least try to keep things close. According to the finding published in …Continue
Added by hitched on April 21, 2014 at 12:30pm — No Comments
What is an affair? What constitutes cheating? Infidelity? These are very personal definitions. Most people have their own version of what constitutes what. Here is a definition I have adapted from experts in the field that works well: An affair involves one of the partner’s passion being directed at someone or something other than their partner that often includes secrecy.
Affairs/cheating can include making-out with or kissing someone at a club,…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:38pm — No Comments
It’s very interesting to me to watch couples struggle and go around and around… I find that this happens with the ones where partners refuse to take ownership of their own contribution to their relationship’s status quo and are fixated with having their partner change… These are the partners that also are waiting for the magic pill and for me to fix their partner. I have a bit of news for these partners – it ain’t gonna happen!
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments
It is very painful to experience betrayal in our relationships. I am primarily referring to betrayal by loved ones. This is the most painful betrayal. Betrayal may happen in many different forms and can be experienced by anyone at anytime during their life time
Betrayal might take place in the form of sexual, physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse by a perpetrator onto a weaker subject. It can take the form of abandonment and…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 18, 2014 at 2:27pm — No Comments
According to a team of economists headed by Jeremy Greenwood of the University of Pennsylvania, the more educated people are, the more likely they are to be married to a partner of similar education. Those with less education are also likely to be married to a spouse with less education. Back in the 1960s that might not have been too…Continue
Added by hitched on April 17, 2014 at 12:30pm — No Comments
New research out of The Ohio State University studied 107 married couples, using voodoo dolls to track how angry spouses felt toward each other for three weeks. Every night before bed and every morning the couples would have their blood glucose measured (i.e., blood sugar level). Those who poked the voodoo doll most to express their anger toward their spouse were those with the lowest glucose…Continue
Added by hitched on April 17, 2014 at 12:30pm — No Comments
A fragment of papyrus that was originally revealed to the world in 2012 has been undergoing tests to validate its authenticity. The scientists have done their studies and the verdict is in: the papyrus is ancient. While the age of the document is all fine and good, it's what is written on it that makes it so…Continue
Added by hitched on April 16, 2014 at 3:30pm — No Comments
It seems being married has its benefits in the virtual world as it does in the real world. If you're an online gamer you know that earlier this month Bethesda released the latest in the Elder Scrolls saga with The Elder Scrolls Online. Within the new role-playing game (in the Imperial Edition only) characters can get married and with that…Continue
Added by hitched on April 14, 2014 at 10:38am — No Comments
What is the Fun Quotient in your relationship? Couples have the tendency to become complacent in their relationship including the fun aspect of their relating. This is traumatic to the relationship as it stifles its energy flow creating a numb, stuck and disconnect feel and dissatisfied partners.
Regardless of your relationship stage, it is imperative that you have fun with your partner.Your brain and body chemistry change when you have fun…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 11, 2014 at 7:08am — No Comments
Do you know when you get on your partner’s nerves? There is a general underlying theme to the complaints couples usually share and that is that their partner is being egocentric. Egocentrism gets in the way of witnessing our partner’s beauty, gifts and contributions. It keeps us trapped in our mind’s machinations and delusions keeping us from Being our Authentic Self. Egocentrism prevents us from connecting with our partner and from having the relationship…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 11, 2014 at 7:02am — No Comments
After the infatuation and dating stage, fun and romance doesn’t just happen in relationships. Great committed relationships don’t just happen. We have to put in conscious effort to create the relationship we want. Here are some tips for creating and enhancing your intimacy, romance, passion and fun with your partner:
1) Make time for each other and for having quality time together. Pick a time of day that is just for the two of…Continue
Added by Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT on April 9, 2014 at 1:59pm — No Comments
Fun is important in our relationship. Having fun releases different chemicals in the brain that engender good feelings which get then associated with our partner. This is a good thing. Having fun with our partner should be a priority in our relationship. We can get huge returns on this investment!
It is difficult at times to remember to have fun a sad state of affairs but very common.Couples get stuck in their routines and getting through…Continue