April 2010 Blog Posts (20)

We're talking about how to "get back to the basics" around creating a lasting, solid relationship over time. This is the second post in my Hitched series on premarital tips for married couples who either never learned - or have forgotten how to keep the foundation under their "marriage house" as strong as possible. They are the guide posts I describe in…

everytime we go some where he act like he so in charge of everything he makes me do this he makes me do that or if it wasnt for him i wouldnt be where i am .he helped me out he got me from stop stressing out things like that are when we are in public its mf this damn that are he is talking about someone are he makes a remark this embrassing i tell him dont do that or he gets around his family acting like he controls are something and i dont like but when we get home its i'm sorry but his…

If you're married and didn't get any kind of premarital education - you're not alone. Though many know of the benefits, when you're in the honymoon phase of your relationship it's pretty easy to think you won't be one of the statistics. If you're married, you likely have some idea that married life isn't necessarily as easy as you might have thought it would be. Though incredibly rewarding much of the time, the reality is there are ups and downs as you navigate through life together with…

As a long-time observer of relationships, I can tell you that, like children, marriages go through different developmental stages and predictable crises. But because people are unfamiliar with the normal hills and valleys of marriage,…

How well do you listen to your spouse? How well does he/she listen to you?

When working with couples on communication, one thing that comes up a lot is frustration around not feeling heard. I'm not only referring to not listening to each other - but also not hearing each other. People can think they've heard each other but a simple misunderstanding or incorrect assumption can totally derail the communication process.

One way to be sure you and your…

Infidelity can one of the most challenging and painful things a marriage can go through. Thankfully, there are effective ways to work through it, especially if both are open to it. Working with couples on the road to affair recovery, I encourage a number of basic rules for the work to be as effective and successful as possible. Here is one:

Allow for Transparency

With the rebuilding of trust being one of the most important elements of healing…

Did you know that if you give your partner a full contact body hug for at least 20 seconds at a time you both have the potential to release oxytocin, the "love" hormone? For couples in distress, both people are likely releasing damaging cortisol (the stress hormone). Because a sense of safety can release oxytocin, this makes the 20 second body hug a wonderful (and fun) antidote for the other. The more times a day you can do this with your partner the better but great times are in…