Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT's Page

How's the "you," "me" and "we" of your marriage? Are you balanced in a way that works for you both?

For a couple who is tipped way over onto the "me" side, they might live separate lives with different friends, few mutual decisions and little time spent together. I once had a couple who literally never sat down to eat with one another and had separate bedrooms. They essentially had barely a shred of focus on the "we"…

As a couple's therapist, I see the gamut of marital dissatisfaction. Ideally people come to me before their unhappiness creates a massive canyon of disconnect and hurt feelings but unfortunately, this is not often the case. Couples still tend to show up in my either really angry or really shut down. Upon closer inspection, there are often unmet needs and unattended hurt feelings at the core of their distress.

Unexpressed…

I just read an interesting article about a recent study that concluded that young men are more vulnerable to the "ups and downs" of relationships than you might think. Though the study looked at 1000 unmarried, 18-23 year olds only, it got me thinking about the possible implications for men in general, whether married or not.

Men are conditioned to put on a brave face and not show their distress. The study indicated that these young men actually suffered more than they let on…

This is the seventh and last post in my Hitched series on premarital tips for married couples who either never learned - or have forgotten how to keep the foundation under their "marriage house" as strong as possible.

7 ) Define Your Personal, Couple and Family Goals: Have you ever discussed your goals with your spouse? Even if you did at one time, have they changed? For long term marriages so much can change within the…