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Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
  • Female
  • San Rafael, CA
  • United States
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Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT's Discussions

Why it's important to have consistent relationship check-ins in your marriage

Started Sep 1, 2011 0 Replies

If there's one thing I could point out as the biggest contributor to marriage disconnect - it's lack of open and flowing communication.  There are many things that block this but what results is…Continue

Tags: couples, communication, check-in

If your marriage feels disconnected, why do you think this is so? Are you working on it - and how?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT Sep 1, 2011. 9 Replies

Being that lasting, happy marriages require effort - and that it's not uncommon for them to develop a disconnect - I'm curious to hear people's thoughts on what has led to this?  I'm a couples…Continue

Tags: disconnect, marriage

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Profile Information

Relationship Status:
How long have you been married?
6-10 Years
How many kids do you have?
What's your best marriage advice?
Don't forget to prioritize the relationship - no matter what else is going on around you.
About Me:
I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and author of "The Premarital Counseling Workbook for Couples" and "The Marriage Refresher Course for Couples" (Therapy-At-Home Workbooks®) – two of a planned series of cost effective, do-it-yourself, therapist-guided counseling alternatives.

I'm the the creator of The Toolbox at,
providing tools for marriage, relationship and emotional health.

Aside from my various writing projects, I have a private practice working with individuals and couples in Marin County, California.

Above all, I'm a wife - and mother of a three year old boy named Cooper. My "boys" are the center of my life.

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT's Blog

The Therapist Couch: How's Your Marriage Balance?

Posted on September 20, 2010 at 5:52pm 0 Comments

How's the "you," "me" and "we" of your marriage? Are you balanced in a way that works for you both?

For a couple who is tipped way over onto the "me" side, they might live separate lives with different friends, few mutual decisions and little time spent together. I once had a couple who literally never sat down to eat with one another and had separate bedrooms. They essentially had barely a shred of focus on the "we"…


The Therapist Couch: The Problem of Letting Resentment Build up in Marriage

Posted on August 2, 2010 at 2:00pm 0 Comments

As a couple's therapist, I see the gamut of marital dissatisfaction. Ideally people come to me before their unhappiness creates a massive canyon of disconnect and hurt feelings but unfortunately, this is not often the case. Couples still tend to show up in my either really angry or really shut down. Upon closer inspection, there are often unmet needs and unattended hurt feelings at the core of their distress.



Your Husband May Struggle with the Ups and Downs of Your Marriage More Thank You Think!

Posted on June 14, 2010 at 12:37pm 0 Comments

I just read an interesting article about a recent study that concluded that young men are more vulnerable to the "ups and downs" of relationships than you might think. Though the study looked at 1000 unmarried, 18-23 year olds only, it got me thinking about the possible implications for men in general, whether married or not.

Men are conditioned to put on a brave face and not show their distress. The study indicated that these young men actually suffered more than they let on…


Want a Lasting Marriage? Get Back to the Basics - part 7

Posted on June 7, 2010 at 3:56pm 1 Comment

This is the seventh and last post in my Hitched series on premarital tips for married couples who either never learned - or have forgotten how to keep the foundation under their "marriage house" as strong as possible.

7 ) Define Your Personal, Couple and Family Goals: Have you ever discussed your goals with your spouse? Even if you did at one time, have they changed? For long term marriages so much can change within the…


Comment Wall (1 comment)

At 7:30am on October 5, 2011, Emma K. Vigluicci, LMFT, CIT said…

Hi Lisa! Nice to see you on here! :)

Hope you are having a great day!

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