wow I can almost relate to you. My husband used to be in a band too. He would go out with friends when he wasnt practising, while id be left at home to care for our first born, cook and clean and do his laundry. And my husband used to complain about my cooking, whether his clothes were washed or not. I just didn't fit the bill.
So I know what its like. and worse of all, I was only 18 at the time.
Now I am 28, 29 next month. With my second child I was injured during birth which prevented me from doing daily household chores etc.
I am constantly sore, my husband has a business now so he is always working and I hardly see him. But come weekend he just wants to sleep in. The house can get really messy, we eat takeout alot and I hate it.
The one thing I noticed about your story is lack of friends, I have friends. I didn't have these friends when my kids were babies though. We moved city and I didn't know anyone.
I decided I wasn't going to let my social life be destroyed however, so every now and then I will make my husband watch the kids and stay the night at my friends house because they live a few hours away. I also play an online video game to occupy myself when my kids are asleep. My husband only occasionaly complains that I play this video game however.
Having friends makes the world of a difference, but only temporarily. When you come home, loneliness sinks back in.
But he complains that he has to do dinner now (although he rarely does because he just buys takeout!). Not once did I ever complain about making his dinner and more when I was 18-23 years old and looking after our child!
Oh I also hate to say it, but I found out that my husband also flirted online, god knows if he has done it offline, but with the amount of time he has spent away from home it wouldn't surprise me.
My conclusion has been, most Men want wonder woman and they want to do what they want, when they want, no questions asked. Oh they have demands for you too, they want you to be fit and healthy, keep grooming, care for the kids, cook their dinner, wash their laundry.
They want all of this from you, but they do want you to have a social life as well, just so they don't have to hear you talk, our voices tire them, even when we're not nagging. That's if you can even find the time to hang out with friends. So no matter which way the tables turn, we get the crap on us (if you don't, good for you! you probably have a rare man indeed!)
All I want, is quality time with my husband.