New series to spotlight couples who have an open relationship where it is okay to be with other people physically, but emotions cannot come into play. Preference given to those who respond quickest.
We are looking for couples who have agreed that one or both spouses can enter into physical relationships with other people, but at the end of the day their relationship trumps all extracurricular activity. Maybe one partner is not as comfortable with the arrangement as the other.
To be considered you MUST provide details about your life - what sort of agreement you and your spouse have, how long it has been occurring, if you have children, if they know, if your families know, if you have a group of friends who also practice this rule, etc. The more info the better. Tell us your story!
please email thisiscasting (at) gmail (dot) com
We practice a form of open marriage, although I would say there are too many versions to fit any easy description. The agreement we have is that I, the wife, get to play. He does not. Possibly a hotwife or cuckolding scenario but we would not consider my husband secondary, or restrained, in the relationship, simply what we and he prefers. There have been moments where I wanted a swapping event, 4sum with his participation, as well as several orgies I would have allowed him to play, but it did not end up playing out that way.
We do have children, they do not know, just as we would not tell them about any vanilla version of sex we engage in. Our families do not know for the same reasons. I do not have regular work friends who are aware of the lifestyle, but have made friends within the lifestyle. Essentially it is two separate lives.
We consider sex our hobby. Some play golf, others travel, we have an expansive sex life. It runs the gamut, some of my dates have become boyfriends, very close, personal, and meaningful relationships. Others have been strictly sex. Some my husband has watched, others he has participated. Many times with repeat dates, or boyfriends, I go alone, and many times I record it and bring it home for the husband to watch before or during our sex.
We have been in the lifestyle for 8 years. It is not easy to do and keep private. There is regular life responsibilities and child rearing which always comes first. We have been married for 17 years, never had any problems, traditional middle class life. Practicing Christians, although most of our faith would say that is impossible. I am always talking via text and email with dates, potential dates, and boyfriends, when the kids are asleep or at school. But home life after school during the week is pretty normal - play, dinner, homework, sleep, repeat. I usually get to play twice a month. It starts with online contact, then a date in a public place. Exchange of information. Then a week or two later we hit the bars, dancing, drinking, then back to a hotel where my husband waits to watch. This is the conventional, traditional method we have used for 8 years. We plan on doing it for another 5, when I turn 45, or if our health and appearance can be maintained, maybe a few years more. The night we actually do it the kids spend the night with friends. When I go alone it is simply "mom is going out with some friends." They go get Pizza, movie, or play sports outside, or whatever, then go to bed. My husband waits up for the video or details and we do our thing.
A big part of the experience is what I wear on a regular basis, even when not on date, just regular every day attire. During the warm months that means spaghetti strap bra tops, spaghetti strap, racer back halters, and tight shorts. We also have conventional sex about 2-3 times during the week, and 1-2 times on the weekend. For a pair in there 40's we think that is pretty good.
We got into it from my husband's constant asking me to do it from about year 6 through year 9 of the marriage before I caved in. I knew this was an interest, just from knowing one another. But he got it in his head around the 6th year of the marriage. Wasn't an early 7 year itch, he never had a porn obsession, and never cheated, just wanted my, our, sex life to be all-encompassing. He felt like it was important for him to know that I was a sexual being, and that I was fulfilled sexually. I have never believed, and I still don't, that my sexual fulfillment was a life priority. Adults with children have a responsibility to raise them that is the highest priority. We, as a married couple, have a responsibility to take care of one another, save money for the future, and raise children and our household in an accountable, moral environment. But......given the opportunity to enjoy sex beyond one person, while retaining the marriage vows, covenant, and commitment, turned out to be WAY more enjoyable than just conventional marriage sex. Can you be happy driving a new Sonata, yes. Can you be content with a Ford Impala? Sure. But would you turn down a Porsche on the weekends???
Most of the men have always been younger, 20-somethings. But the best have been in their 30's, and I have tried one in his 40's. Sometime it has been great, sometimes the guy has not know what to do or how to do it. But overall, just the weekly pursuit, the build up and anticipation, the knowing how others want me - all of it has been more than worth it and great.
Hope that shares how we have done it, it works for us.
My wife and I have one. We do it but I'm unhappy. She initiated it, not me. I can't say exactly how open marriage began for us but she gets her way always. I love her too much and myself have never been sexually confident. Even before we were married I wasn't confident around her. I definitely was incapable in bed with her---too anxious I guess. She was really attractive to me, and I've always be so turned on by women who looked like my wife, the hourglass brunettes with beautiful legs, feet, eyes, small features, and attractive if not beautiful faces. I've wondered why she ever married me and have come up with this: I had money to begin with, am an extremely hard worker, and was averagely good-looking and in good shape, then, too, as I used to do some sports; but the thing is she felt---I think-- that she could get around me anytime and that I would never say "no" to her and never question her. In other words, I'm not confrontational and don't like to argue. She cheated on me before we were married; she told lies and confessed to nothing. Still, I married her. After we were married a few years, she wanted more excited and took trips without me. Then she started flirting with other men--even women-- right there in front of me. She worked very hard on my feelings all the time in order to arrive at where we are today. She made me feel like a wet blanket and that I wasn't any fun at bars, restaurants, dancefloors, or in bed. Then she said she would love to see me with another woman. We'd have a threesome. I didn't want to do that but she worked on me. I didn't openly object at all but just kind of dug in my heels. Eventually, I did what she wanted. It was a terrible failure as I was impotent that night out of anxiety. Still I go ahead, afraid to object, wanting even to prove myself to her, I guess, prove that I'm not afraid of sex like this, wanting to please her sexually. I feel I'd do anything if I only could. We're very different from the couple below. I'm unhappy but she doesn't care.