In the 23d Psalm we are told how we can love our lives if we make the Lord our Shepard. Another words, when we allow the Lord to lead us, we find a different type of experience in life than we ourselves would have created. Many times we search and struggle to find the things we need to give us pleasure and happiness, including taking control of people and possessions. What I have found is an awesome way to find this peace in life and relatoinship is to do the opposite and give all i can to others but to do it in a heathy way. If they are people who will take everything, be careful to give as you feel you ought to and explain to them why you are giving this to them, so they understand your intentions are not what they may think they are. The first thing though is to find the love of God that has been waiting for you all along. Visit my blog. I have one for all called Parentsdew.blogspot.com and one for single parents called SingleparentsDaily.blogspot.com
Negative behavior leads to negative things this I'm sure you know but needed to be said. Just because you've been married five times and have control issues (as you say) does not mean that you are screwed up. You are still the same person that your husband fell in love with and it's not you that you need to change. Behaviors and habits can be changed and your on the right path if you are able to notice and want to change them. For what your describing there is an exercise you can try and here it is. For one week when you go to say something negative to anybody, DON'T...just write it down (your probably wondering what if I don't have anything to say during this week? Well, it will be a quite week for your friends and family). At the end of the week look at what you have written. It's amazing how many negative statements a person is capable of saying with-in a week, even for those who don't think that they are negative at all. Not only that but look at the people around you and watch how there actions and conversations toward you change, this is where you really see a difference in the people you spend the most time with.
As far as the control issue goes, remember this "Don't sweat the small stuff", communication does wonders when it comes to having something done a certain way (or your way). I'm not talking about manipulating others to do as you want, but explaining why you would want something done a certain way in a positive manner. You never know, they might just say something to spark an interest to a new way of doing something that you were not even taking into contrast. Any addition knowledge is better than running on the same old thing that we were always taught to be the right thing to do or say when things change all the time. Times change and so does the way people in general look at anything, therefore changing some things and the way we look at them can never hurt anything. Looking at the history of the human race is proof of that.
hi i just read your post and i love the advice its practical and doable ill try it starting right and talk to you in a week thanks valerie ps you have to make the puncuation for me as i havent learned how its amazing how my kids are a whiz at the computer but i dont have a clue
The younger you are the more apt you are to learn. Everywhere you look today you see a computer in one form or another, so the kids are the ones with the advantage seeing that they learn with almost no effort involved whereas the older you get the more effort you have to put into something in order to learn it. Like the old saying..."you can't teach an old dog new tricks", you can but it takes a whole lot of work.
hi shanae thankyou for the advice youre right i do need to get over myself and it is an addiction an ugly one when someone hits the nail on the head its sometimes difficult to accept i had written you concerning your blowout with youre friend i deliberately meant to come off hateful i apoligize for that and hope we can be friends on this site one can never have to many friends have a nice day