I have a hard time sleeping in my bed.

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Permalink Reply by Debbie King on September 10, 2009 at 2:14pm

Hi Nancy.
The first thing we should ask is "did you know what he was like before you got married?" Surely you must have known what he was like. If you are so uncomfortable with this, then why did you marry him? Did you really think that he would magically change once you were married? A salutory lesson here - a leopard will never change his spots.
However, most things can be sorted out through communication. Have you explained to him how strongly you feel about this - that's the first step. Have a quiet word with his mother and ask was he always like this. It might be that his mom always cleaned up after him - if so he's likely expecting you to do this. After all this, if things don't improve then tell he straight that you just cannot carry on - and give him a couple of weeks to sort himself out. If he hasn't done so, then it's down to you whether you stay and act like his servant cleaning up after him, or leave and find someone who'll not expect his wife to be a servant. But if he's not prepared to turn over a new leaf not - don't expect him to EVER do so.
And don't come the "but I love him". That will never work unless he also loves you - and if he's not prepared to tidy up after himself he certainly does NOT love you.

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Permalink Reply by Nancy McClain on September 10, 2009 at 2:47pm

God bless his Mother she have past away, he had not always been like this he had own house before we got married and he kept it nice and clean. He love shopping and love clothes.

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Permalink Reply by wrood welaloya on September 10, 2009 at 7:14pm

hello my dear ..
try to make difference by taking things that he dont use and dont notice (out) then you pack things he notice after telling him whats the point of them ,,, if he complains tell him you would like to move them to another place !!
you can do it step by step not all at once (good luck my dear)

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Permalink Reply by Nancy McClain on September 10, 2009 at 8:12pm

Thanks you so much,I will try that it sound good to me.

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Permalink Reply by Lea B. on September 13, 2009 at 12:17pm

I think you two need to tackle this mess. Get your husband to help by letting him know why you don't sleep in there. Then let him know how much more receptive you would be to make love more often if the room was more romantic. First off everything you don't need, want or wear donate to a thrift store!! Next try and organze the closet's and dresser's, then buy some rubber storage containers and pack and label them and maybe move them to another room.

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