How to stop the same arguement after it going on for years

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Permalink Reply by One Bored Employee on March 20, 2009 at 5:58pm

I have the same problem. I guess we havent really resolved what we keep arguing about.

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Permalink Reply by Christa Yazzie on March 20, 2009 at 6:41pm

It all depends on what the argument is about. If it is something small like he left the toilet seat up then you could all work through it. If its about a past relationship or an affair I don't think that can be fixed. I am not married but have been in a relationship for 11 years and he cheated on me many times. I have never gotten my answer from him.

Now I have built up a lot of anger and am planning to leave this relationship because I see it is not making me happy and never have been.

So if its something small that can be forgiven then drop it and move on.

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Permalink Reply by Mi on March 21, 2009 at 11:52am

Thanx for the advice!! I am the type of person that wants peace,and I think communication is the corner stone of getting it. When my partner clams up or closes off I feel like there isn't a true effort on his part to resolve the issue. I don't sweat the small stuff,but there are lies that injure the trust you have for someone. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for,and keep me informed,K?

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Permalink Reply by Mrs. Childress on April 4, 2009 at 9:26am

There simply must be a mature acceptance that you two do not see eye-to-eye on a particular issue - and move on. Its okay, really, that you do not agree on everything. That's the beauty of marriage - that you two are not clones of each other but each adds and brings in a different piece/point of view.

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Permalink Reply by Mi on April 4, 2009 at 10:42am

I hear what you are telling me. I appreciate the outside view. I come with a set of views of the world and the situations in it,and so does he.I often find my self centered in them and unable to emerge to accept others views. I'm currently working on this(as well as soooooooooooooo many other issues) in therapy. I feel in my heart that I will be able to connect so much better after I 'open up' and accept. I hope for progress in this area not only for my fiance and I, but to better all my relationships. Thank-you and I look forward to hearing again from you new friend!!

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