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Today I have an appointment to see a cardiologist concerning the type of heart murmure I have. Supposedly I have type of murmure that is a growth of an 'extra valve' that causes my heart rate to reach 156 and up. My husband was with me that day when I admitted myself to the hospital because it seemed to be getting worse since having it during childhood. The physician gave me the scoop by drawing a diagram of what it looks like when my heart rapidly beats and the cause. He prescribed some pills and requested that I follow up with the hospital cardiologist and that he would be expecting to see me soon since the physician fax my info to him. Now, my husband knows all these things that are going on! I called last month to make the appointment that is today. My husband knew my appt. was today. I kept asking him about whether he would be up for going with me to this appt. See, he's an officer and is currently working the night shift of twelve hours. He works from 6pm-6am. My appt. is at 11:30am. If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't be too tired due to being anxious in learning what the doc has to say about my husbands condition. But nooooooooo! He presents this argument about him working and how hard it is to be working a twelve hour shift. I told him then he doesn't belong married. Because, what if it were one of our kids with the condition? Would he be all about push the task all on me to take our child to see the doctor? Or, on his days off, he thinks it's when you sleep 'til 3:00pm or 4:00pm and do nothing for the rest of the day! He acts as though he's pulling off a major feat working as an officer and working twelve hour shifts! I told him that if I wasn't in the picture, I would hope, as a good citizen and respectful young man, he would have a job, period. We are a young couple right now with no sense of adventure or virility of life!
Tell me what you guys think about my loving and considerate hubby!!!! (sigh and rolling of the eyes!)

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I agree with you. Both me and my ex worked these 12 hr shifts sometimes you get less sleep.
He did better on these things then my soon to be ex.
This is what a spouse is for and imo they cannot be there then why bother being married.
I can see both sides of the spectrum, however he definately should have been at your appointment and then maybe went back to sleep when you guys got home. Working 12 hour night shifts ( I do unfortunately) is so hard and getting up early does honestly feel like absolute death especially when you have to work the next night. HOWEVER, if it is something as serious as that, he needed to bite the bullet and be there!!! Do you guys have kids? If you do it will honestly be quite similar to this scenario; again I've been there done that and got divorced lol. You should sit down with him and tell him how important it was to you and it really hurt your feelings that he was not there! Maybe he'll get the picture and get his act together. I mean, he could have even went to bed dressed, slept in the car on the way to the appointment, and slept on the way home! It was very inconsiderate of him, it's not like you were getting a physical or check for a sinus infection lol.
I can definately see your side of the arguement, and his too; although I can see how you would want him there w u, let me be frank about this: it is just a discussion w the Doctor, not a proceedure or something invasive, therefor, if it were me, I would feel like (and have had this attitude when my own hubby didn't go w me to my doctor appt to learn more about this weird rare condition I developed w my last pregnancy) it is just a doctor appt to discuss info, info that can easily be passed onto your husband when he is awake and not in the middle of trying to get the rest he needs to work all night and fight crime (my brother is also a cop who works nt shift) ; I think it is a little immature to demand a sleepy husband get up in the middle of trying to sleep during the day since a night shift is harder on your natural cycle than a day shift is, even of 12 hours during the day; You can very well go to the dr alone, and come back home to tell him what he missed and what you learned fr the Doctor, and most certainly he should go w u to any appointments regardless of his work or sleep schedule if your appointment is for a proceedure or invasive test of some sort. And, it is unfair to say if it were u who worked the nt shift, you would have gotten up to go w your husband, and I say it is unfair simply b/c of this: WOMEN ARE FAR MORE CAPABLE OF DOING IT ALL, men simply are not, although they think they are stronger or whatever, it is merely evident by how much we women do for ourselves, our kids, families, communities etc etc etc, where as men, are like, "well I can do that if I have time or the energy. etc" and we all know, if you want something done or something done right: HAVE A WOMAN DO IT!!!

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Episode 474: What Do You Do if You Think Your Husband Acts Inappropriately Around Other Women?

Some men are behaving badly and perhaps the closest person on the planet to them can get through to them... maybe not. Dr. Karen Sherman shares her thoughts.

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