It would be fantastic if we could do everything we're supposed to out of the kindness of our hearts. But we're human - sometimes we don't WANT to do things, even if we know we should. But we do them because we should, because we love our spouse, want to preserve/grow the relationship/etc. But that's different, I think, from doing them because you 'want to'.
1. Thou shalt remember the words 'please' and 'thank you', even to one's spouse for ordinary help - think positive reinforcement!
2. Thou shalt remember to have fun together no less than monthly.
3. Thou shalt put thy relationship with thy spouse before all other relationships.
4. Spouses shall not abuse commandment number 3 as a means to cut their beloved off from all other human contact .
5. Thou shalt have fun with others no less than monthly.
6. Thou shalt remember that sex is not a weapon.
I think a lot of it really depends on how common your thoughts on it are. Taking your case for example... If you both have that belief about slow dancing, then a rule probably isn't necessary - both of you would be uncomfortable with doing it with someone else. But if one of you thinks of it as harmless and the other thinks of it as really intimate - then a discussion needs to take place and you need to get on the same page. In my opinion, of course.
It makes a difference, too, if it something one partner wants to do, that is not harmful, and that the other partner refuses to do. So, for instance, if she really wanted to slow dance, but you would not do it - then I think her accepting dances from others is different. That wouldn't hold true for all cases - but for something like slow dances, I think it would.
I guess my thinking on 'rules' is.... I can't expect my partner to read my mind. If my husband does something that upsets me - if he didn't know it would upset me, it isn't fair to hold a grudge. But it is fair to explain why it upsets me, and ask him not to do it again.
I think it's possible to slow dance with a man in a manner appropriate for strangers - it just isn't the same as really slow-dancing with someone you care about. More of a boring exercise that doesn't seem worth the effort, to maintain an appropriate distance. Much more fun to do it closer - with someone you like! So I think it goes either way.
I'm trying to figure out if I think it would be wrong to slow-dance with another guy. Hmmm. My man is generally in uniform at things like wedding, so nobody has ever asked me! LOL That probably indicates a lot of people either feel it would be disrespectful, or are afraid he would think so. :) I guess if he were not available, if I were alone, and someone asked me - I'd probably say no, because like I said, not much fun if you're not cuddling up, and I'm not going to cuddle up with someone else. So I guess I consider close slow dancing inappropriate to do with someone other than my husband, and I don't see the point to any other kind, so I'm stuck with my husband. And I think it would be different if one of his good friends asked versus a stranger - depending on the friend!
But this was about rules, not dancing. I guess that should be a commandment; I'll add a couple up above.
We completed our 10 commandments of marriage (see below); did we miss anything?
Commandment 10. Make Special Time for Yourself
Commandment 9. Develop Mutual Interests
Commandment 8. Resolve Arguments One Issue at a Time
Commandment 7. Praise Your Spouse
Commandment 6. Leave The Baggage At The Door
Commandment 5. Don’t Expect Your Spouse To Be a Mind Reader
Commandment 4. Argue Constructively
Commandment 3. Make Dates With Your Spouse
Commandment 2. Communicate With Your Spouse
Commandment 1. Prioritize Your Partner Over Everything
Researchers suspect more than half of all kids experience at least one traumatic event in their childhood. The number of events and the gender might impact behavior. Dr. Karen Sherman dives into two BYU studies.