Married Life from Hitched - Social network for married couples

They say 25million couples are in a sexless marriage and research also shows that women are okay to be in a sexless marriage but the men feel differently.. they want to keep having sex!
So girls if you husband wanted to have more sex how would you recommend he chat with you about?

Views: 397

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I just find it so amazing the common theme or should I say excuses women come up with to avoid sex and or intimacy. " OH I'm so tired , or the house needs to be cleaned, or the rose bush needs to be trimmed" ......I live in a sexless marriage. I'm a good father and husband. I work hard to provide for my family. Why is it us men have to do "something" in order to get a little. What a bunch of crap. I love the OP... "So girls if you husband wanted to have more sex how would you recommend he chat with you about? " What? must he come begging for it. Guys once a womans needs are met you can forget about she taking care of yours. After all you are just a paycheck to them. If women don't want to at least try to satisify you a little them give up on any cuddles, any affection, kinda like roomates. See how the "good wife" warms upto that.
I'd wager that most of those women have never experienced a full mind-blowing orgasm - and whose fault is that? The men of course, who are too vain (and stupid) to recognise it. Men could stick their willy in a sink plug-hole and come off, but women need foreplay. In answer, it's down to the man - and I'd suggest a good porno video (for the man) to see just how the porn-stars use foreplay to get their on-screen parners to orgasm (and often several). Most men seem to have the philosophy "push it in, pull it out, and wipe it". No wonder women go off sex. They've never been brought to an orgasm and the man is blaming the woman? Get real !!
Ah, if a woman isn't interested, it MUST be the man's fault. Why not society's fault? Or the government's fault? Grow up and learn a little. Personally, I spend between an hour and 3 hours getting my wife to a climax. I work hard on it every time. Every time. She has huge orgasms which require substantial recovery time pretty much ever time we have sex.

This is not a brag. We don't know each other so what would be the point? Sex is important to me so I do try to have it be the greatest event of any day. Yes, some men are not aware of how to please a woman. But for every one of them it seems that there is a frigid wife who's sex drive was killed by wedding cake.

My first wife had a medical problem early in our marriage and ended up with no female hormones. Therefore she had very little sex drive. To keep her interest, I read about and developed techniques to please her and maintain her interest in sex the best I could.

So, before you give some sorry old line like you did, become educated with facts on the subject. Don't throw pop-psych drivel on the web. Read the book I suggested (The Female Brain by Dr. Lauren Brizendine). It contains medical facts, which will probably shock and offend you.

Stop blaming men for your low sex drive. Should we blame women and say they have poor communication skills if we don't want to listen to them for an hour straight?
That is so true. My marriage is a one way in the sex department. My husband gets his satification and that is it. when I want some satification after he is done he goes to sleep. What makes me mad is that he usually want's sex is when I am tired and just about asleep. And he wonders why i don't get into the mood.
I am truly sorry to hear that. I am not sure what percentage of sex problems are due to the guy being self centered. But I fear it is the majority of them. Until he's motivated to change, he won't. Throwing a book at him isn't likely to work.

Maybe if you sat down to watch a DVD on relationships it might help. One that I found interesting was by Mark Gungor called Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage. He has a website and all. I bought the seminar DVDs and it was about $60 but so worth it. Anyway, check out their website.

The Mars/Venus books are good, but he has to want to read them.

For yourself, Alison A. Armstrong has an organization teaching women how to understand men. She really does seem to understand us! She has books on her website (understandingmen) but I'd suggest searching online for a better price. My wife has read a couple and wants to attend a seminar. I hope she can go before the years end.

Anyway, I hope things improve for you. Please let me know. I'm at straightmanstyle on Y.
I'm the one who wants more sex than my husband. He has a much lower drive than I have. He knows it. I know it. And we do talk about it, a little bit. He tries to make an effort so that we don't drift into that 'sexless' marriage territory, but he has trouble talking about it. I know he feels badly so I don't press him to talk about how or what we could do to to work this out.
Has he had his testosterone level checked? It's easy to fix. I guess it's kind of common in men. Seems like it would be worth a shot to keep you happy!
Thanks SM. We'll check it out and talk to his doc.
what can be done if testosterone level is very poor? Are there treatments available, and what are reasons for such a decrease?
There are medical treatments and they're easy. A testosterone gel is probably the best. Causes are sometimes undetermined. It can be other problems in the endocrine system, or even just aging. It requires a doctors visit and some tests.
Well...dont talk just do! If my husband starts kissing on me and turning me on, why would i tell him no? every woman wants love and to be the center of attention. She also wants her husband to be faithful to her. If you give him what he needs, he'll give you what you need. Its a give and take relationship. You have to give a little to get a little. I've noticed when my husband is sexually satisfied I get more loving attention than when I dont satisfy him. Yes, i tell him no when I'm already asleep...but if you tell him no, why should he say yes baby, i will do your laundry, clean your house, and do everything you ask? lol. You got to train them....sex is like the treat you give a dog when it sits. Reward him and you will be rewarded!
But then your sex drive seems to be fine. What about those of us whose wife is losing her sex drive, for example due to hormonal changes? For those women, it's not just kissing them. They are not interested, and in many cases won't bother to try.

There are many causes of a sexless marriage. Sometimes it's due to frustration. Sometimes stress. Sometimes just too much fighting and not feeling like the other person cares at all.

However you have the right approach. Your husband needs sex to feel loved (except in the abnormal cases such as medical problems, latent homosexuality, etc.) and without it he's going to pull back from you. That's the way his brain is wired.

RSS






Hitched Podcast

Episode 446: How to Make Your Marriage Arguments Healthy for Marriage

Good marriages include disagreements. With those disagreements you can grow in your knowlege and understanding of each other. Dr. Karen Sherman offers advice on how to make that happen.

© 2017   Created by hitched.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service