Sex

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Permalink Reply by Straight Man on July 20, 2009 at 10:33pm

Dr. Tina E. Read, you said, "there really is very little in the sexual experience for a woman to get excited about". Really? Then why do I spend between 1 and 3 hours making sure I give her as much pleasure as possible and helping her reach an orgasm pretty much every time?

Then she wants sex less and less, like she can't remember how good it felt the last time, because at this point she doesn't feeeeel like it. Perhaps I should just worry about myself. Actually, I end up doing that anyway since after her orgasm she's too tired for me.

No, she doesn't know what she wants. She is afraid to touch herself and know much of anything about her own body. Interesting for a woman who talked big about her sex drive before we were married. I guess the wedding cake killed it.

One thing you didn't address was why women assume our sex drive needs to die along with theirs. If not, we're oversexed pigs.

Basically it ends up being another form of cheating and no matter how we respond, we're the bad guys.

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Permalink Reply by Karla on November 18, 2008 at 2:51pm

Thanks everyone for your contribution ... I think sex is a touchy subject and hard when a women has low desire and her husband is high desire it can be tough as the guilt sets in.. I am lucky that my husband is so patient and kind and cute but my hormones are changing along with my sex drive... and years back sex was amazing and frequent but now life just seems to get in the way..

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Permalink Reply by Heather on February 10, 2009 at 4:03pm

I am currently reading Dr. Trina's book "Till sex do us part". So far it has been helpful and I can see things that have happened in my marriage talked about in the book.

The hardest part of getting more sex back in the relationship is having to make the changes. In our relationship we are already very open about sex. We have the toys, clothes and all the frills to make a great bedroom experience. The problem is I am just not into it anymore. The house is a mess I look around and I just want to clean. After we have sex there is even more clean up to do with all the toys we use.

I just starting reading her book and most of the work involved is stressful for me.

Valentines day is coming this weekend and we have already started fighting about the lack of sex. I don't let him do anything sexually with me anymore because then I owe him. I just do things to him, keep my clothes on and hope that after we are done he will be happy and go to sleep.

My husband always has an orgasum so I get tired of hearing he is not happy. He doesn't have to give me an orgasum or any feeling for that matter. I wish he would just be happy with what I give him. I look at the clock constantly to see how much longer I have to keep going. He seems to think sex should last 3 or 4 hours. I just feel so tired and bored after the first hour.

I hope the book might help me chat with my husband to fix the problem. Sometimes I wish we never got married.

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Permalink Reply by Karla on February 10, 2009 at 4:34pm

this is so normal,,,and tons of women feel just like you!! I am no expert like Dr. Trina but I have spent lots of energy reading up on this subject.. and sometimes the passion is not there and spicing it up is maybe not the solution but having him help you with daily stresses.. as stress release for him maybe sex and for you it may be time alone or help with the house and kids... so their needs to be some give and take. we are launching a website with tools on how to help women increase their sexual desire.. and it is not easy.. women are very complicated!!!! and we have been studying the topic for close to 1.5yrs and will not launch the site for another year as this is so common and so difficult to fix as it takes lots of energy from both parties.. we are trying to make it easier for couples but we are still in testing phase and we will not launch the products unless they work... but you can join our testing site to provide insights.. we launch an interim site in a week.. at www.tokii.com . I empathize and you are not alone in you feelings... this is one reason why I started to work on the site b/c I wanted to get it back again.... and I have to say my sex life is pretty good these days.. but I have the biz as the excuse if I did not have the biz I am not sure how I would be with my sex life... it has been an interesting journey.

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Permalink Reply by Dina on January 17, 2009 at 8:22pm

Give him more sex!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Jenniffer Searcy on March 2, 2009 at 7:30am

The problem is with my husband and I.. He get's what he wants and im left out in the cold with out any pleasure. He tells me hes just too tired. Or I have more of a sex drive than he dose.. I think if he take care of me the way i take care of him i would be tired too and not keep wanting more and more and more.........??

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Permalink Reply by Heather on March 2, 2009 at 1:17pm

I had a very honest discussion with my husband recently about this.The conversation was really hard but it was worth it. I have to change somethings on my side also. Things were better this weekend with my husband. I made an effort to get more dressed up and did some extra things around the house so I would not be thinking about what was not done. He made a point of letting me know he noticed.

Trina's book has really helped me. It just seems very slow right now.

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Permalink Reply by Mi on March 20, 2009 at 3:37pm

Jenniffer, I know this sounds crazy but could it be he hasn't adjusted to the shift in your family? You've just had a big change in your house hold maybe he is having a hard time relateing to that? Imagen if he did and was afraid to talk to you about it? He maybe upset and worried that if he discussed it with you that somehow it will sound like he is unhappy with the change.(Your munchkin) Is he having a problem at work? This can really throw guys for a loop too! If things change post the outcome,you have got me curious. Good Luck!

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Permalink Reply by Roseline on March 8, 2009 at 11:49am

What do i do to increase my sex drive.

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Permalink Reply by IELAINE on March 20, 2009 at 10:17pm

I CAN RELATE TO THIS,BUT ONLY WITH THE OPPOSITE - MY HUSBAND RARELY WANTS SEX,BUT I'M THE ONE WHO WANTS MORE SEX (NOT JUST FOREPLAY BUT SEX) ! HE ALWAYS TELLS ME THAT HE CANT GET AN ERECTION FOR US TO HAVE SEX TOGETHER.HE SAYS HE SUFFERS FROM ED (ERECTORAL DISFUNCTION).WE SPOKE TO HIS DR.ABOUT THIS.THE DR SAYS HE CANT HAVE ED.WHY?(YOU ASK).CAUSE HE CAN GET AN ERECTION ANY DAMN TIME HE WANTS TO GO EJACULTE.YES I KNOW MEN OFTEN DO THAT.BUT DONT LIE TO YOUR PARTNER AND SAY :I CANT HAVE SEX CAUSE I CANT GET AN ERECTION,BUT YET YOU CAN GET ONE 3-4 TIMES A WEEK TO EJACULATE(BYN YOURSELF)! THEN WHEN YOUR IN THE MOOD FOR SEX,ALL THEY WANT YOU TO DO IS HELP THEM GET OFF! AND,THE HELL WITH YOU.THEY ROLL OVER AND GO TO SLEEP.THEN TO TOP IT OFF THEY SIT SUPER GLUED TO THE COUCH AND TV ALL DAY,AND WONT EVEN TALK TO YOU EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY WANT YOU TO WAIT ON THEM HAND AND FOOT,AND THEY DONT DO SHIT AROUND THE HOUSE!

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Permalink Reply by michelle on March 25, 2009 at 11:58am

you need to kick that man out .honey you hurting yourself .it takes two baby 1 i had a man like that was married to him for about three yrs. he got where he didnt want to wrok and his way of good sex his he jack his self off but whre is my pleasure no baby i had to let that go i can do bad by myself .i know times are hard but hey you doing by yourself anyway i suppose. there are somegood men out there that know how to treat a woman . but you got to treat yourself good frist love your self cause if you dont be lieve me no one else will. i know my father in heaven loves me and i love me some me. do you frist. love ya

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Permalink Reply by jillian simpson on May 16, 2009 at 8:08pm

he need to get some medicine so yall can get to rockin and rolling in the bed. I want to try out the sex swing in the bedroom. That sounds exciting!!! Hey never know we might just invite a couple to join us in it.

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