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I have a lot of friends who've brought this up. Some think there's no problem with it--you can never have enough. But some think that it might have an adverse effect--as in, it's not good for the body, may mess with biological cycles etc.

Personally, I think if you;re having too much sex with your mate you're doing something right.

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Thanks for bringing this up Lovely. We get a ton of questions regarding this topic and have written an article on the subject, "Are You Having Too Much Sex?" In short, the author Machelle M. Seibel, MD says:

If you are having so much sex you are experiencing pain or numbness, definitely take a break. If your emotional desire is flagging and you are just going through the motions because you feel like you have to compete, take a few nights off and you might find yourself looking forward to it again. The pressure to transform a loving experience into a marathon event can lead to erectile dysfunction where none had existed, or even damage a relationship.

With this in mind, and breaks planned, really the only problems standing in the way of day-in day-out sexual abandon are practical matters. Is your spouse interested in the same amount of sex as you? Is sex interfering with getting to work on time? Are you preoccupied with sex or has it become an obsession often with little satisfaction? If the latter is true it could be due to sexual addiction, which should be treated.

In that same vein, there's another article worth checking out, "How Much Sex Is Normal?" by Dr. Trina Read. I hope these resources help.

Curious if others feel that having too much sex is becoming a problem in their relationship.
In the last twenty five years, a person's identity is wrapped up in how much sex they have. Being sexy and sexual in our society equates to being young--and baby boomers really want to keep their youth.

However, having this weight on a couple's shoulders can prove to be a big strain during times of change (like a promotion or young children). As well, it can cause a lot of unnecessary small bad habits that eventually turn into big fights.

Having a lot of sex will not mess with biological cycles and will only do the body good. That said, always feeling under pressure to have a lot of sex perhaps will work against a person's sexual desire.

How much sex is enough sex is unique to each couple. Some couples only need to have sex once a month to feel satiated while others need it twice a week (or more). There is no right and wrong. That said, couple's should NEVER guage their sexual satisfaction against what other people are doing.

Dr. Trina Read
You bring up a good point regarding basing your sexual activities with what friends are doing. Just having that one friend who constantly talks about how much he's/ she's getting can make you feel that you're relationship isn;t as sexually gratifying. I think you're right about setting your own course and being happy whether it;s a lot or a little.
I agree with Trina - people feel like they 'should' have a lot of sex and sometimes that pressure adversely affects desire levels. I also agree that measuring it against others is a little silly, because everyone's life and bodies and expectations are different.
"Having a lot of sex will not mess with biological cycles and will only do the body good."

this is always good to know.
The debate rages on! Just saw this on AOL. Dr. Mehmet Oz was on Oprah the other day answering questions and one of them was "How often should you have sex?" His answer was no more than 200 times per year. Here's his full response:
"If you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years," Dr. Oz says, basing this number on a study from researchers at Duke University who surveyed people about the amount and quality of sex they had. "They looked at what happened to folks that are having a lot of intercourse over time, and the fact is, it correlated." Frequent sex helps prove that your body is functioning as it is supposed to. "But in addition, having sex with someone that you care for deeply is one of the ways we achieve that Zen experience that we all crave as human beings," says Dr. Oz. "It's really a spiritual event for folks when they're with someone they love and they can consummate it with sexual activity...seems to offer some survival benefit."

Hmm, seems like Dr. Oz is mixing a little science with spirituality. We'll have to get our hands on that report and see what it says. Trina, have you seen this report?
I believe that you must enjoy sex in controlled manner. Appropriate gap should be there. In order maintain the stamina and strength exercises should be done, yoga practices should be carried and some times energy pills, viagra and many other same could be used. It is a gift not a toy so handle it carefully.
I figured out while reading your article, that you are kind of negative in your approach. I do not give a head go to such articles, probably there is some misconception you have about people on this subject. May be you should take up the project again and seek for the positive aspect that lies in it.

The only way to have to much sex is if one complains or a body stops working. Sex is one of the few things people do together that is so emotionally healing, satisfying, healthy, and fun with the right partner. 

When my late wife and I got together we would make love, have sex, mattress mambo, or animalistic sex every night and more on the weekends for the first 3 years of our life together. After this time period we did slow down to a much more 'normal' sexual activity of 2-3 times per week. It was wonderful as it was with the right partner, the right 'fit' and the right time in our lives. As with most folks it did take some time to work out the kinks, the positions, and what feels good for each other, it is so much fun to find out about one another. This was after several years of no sexual activity for either of us.

I don't know about the spirituality of sex or the 200 times per year, I know it is good for us, good for another body, and good for a relationship.   

Just my thoughts on the subject. 


I agree. If you have been blessed to be married to someone who you can have "too much sex" with ( whatever that means).  you're doing something right.  Sex is suppose to be healthy physically and mentally so I read.


I wish I had that problem :)
If it's really interfering with your life and you don't have time for anything else, or for any other activities with your partner (and you want it to be a relationship, not just a sexual relationship).
Just concern about it if it gets painful or you notice other bad effects!

And if you don't want to and don't feel like it, don't feel you have to do it.

So it would be pretty hard to overdo it, but if either of those situations apply, maybe think about slowing down. The fact you're wondering this means you might be unhappy with it?


Hitched Podcast

Episode 541: How to Mess Up a Relationship With Subterranean Sabotage

Dr. Noelle Nelson explains how responding to non-verbal or thoughtless bits of communication can undermine your marriage.

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