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My husband and I were having a very hard time last year. We had just moved to a new town where he had friends and I did not. I've always been very shy and hard a hard time adjusting from it being just me and him to him making his own friends and reconnecting with some. He met a single woman. I was jealous. They had planned to go hiking one weekend I was working. I asked my husband not to do this...saying I wasn't comfotable. He said he would not. Over the next few months, we were able to get our relationship back on track. The other day I found his email password and found all the emails between them. I discovered they did go hiking and had many lunches and some dinners. My husband put me in a negative light when he talked to her about me. So approached my husband about the hiking and lunches ect. He denied it all, saying they only went to lunch twice. I told him what I found and saw. He just said that it wasn't a good time last year but never admitted to any wrong doing. I'm filled with such hurt. Though I know I was in the wrong for trying to control through my jealousy, and I have since gotten over it, I'am so hurt by the lies. How do I move forward?

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Sally, all you want to do ... is to be honest. Since you are honest, you are expecting others to be honest. That's what got you. So honest that your husband would ask you whether he could go hiking with another girl who is single. Well, its okay to be feel hurt and because you are soft, it will hurt you more than it would hurt others.

I am presuming you love him and would not leave him, so I would advice treating him like a kid ... let me elaborate. Let's the games begin.

(1) Give him a warning that if you ever find him lying again that he has sit on the naughty chair (this punishment can be something that really pisses him off).
(2) Punish him if you find him doing something. Spread the news to his family and friends about his character in addition (of course, say sorry after you do that.)
(3) Take a vacation alone in the name of anger (pre-plan the vacation and have fun - helps to to build yourself back up)
(4) I say this again, keep a lot of male friends around you and say you are only talking to them.

Good luck!

"Remember a player hates to be played."

All in my opinion,
But he wasn't honest with me. He lied and then I found out the truth on my own and he still lied and just said, "my mind was in a good place." WTF
Suck it up sally!!! He lied, were men and we do some stupid stuff some times. TAKE THE ADVISE AND MOVE ON!!!!! DONT BE THAT CRAZY WIFE STUCK ON THAT HE LIED BUMP!!!! EITHER WAY IT HAPPEND.
Thanks so much Christine. I knew the answer to my question all along but I think I just needed reassurence to know I'm making the right decision.


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